Bill Belichick’s girlfriend, Jordon Hudson, is banned from UNC football facilities. Apparently, being a muse doesn’t qualify you to call the plays.…
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Rep. Greene’s new $42 Gulf of America hat promises to protect liberty, confuse geographers, and deflect criticism one overpriced thread at a time.…
Chicago-born Robert Prevost becomes Pope Leo XIV, but his hometown isn’t waiting for formalities. He’s Da Pope now and the deep dish is holy.…
Trump’s long-awaited UK trade deal was upstaged by white smoke from the Vatican announcing a new pope. He’s not taking it well.…
Vatican confirms the white smoke seen over the Sistine Chapel wasn’t for a new pope, but rather the incineration of the Epstein client list. Divine timing or strategic smokescreen?…
The Vatican’s papal smoke tradition was briefly interrupted after a pizza chef accidentally smoked out the conclave. Vatican confirms: no pope, just pepperoni.…
Trump claims he’s struck a deal with the penguins and seals of Heard and McDonald Islands. The animals have yet to comment. Or blink.…
Trump brings back Alcatraz and invites Clint Eastwood to yell at an empty prison cell. Critics call it surreal; supporters call it “deeply moving and possibly legally binding.”…
Senator JD Vance accuses ChatGPT users of bad manners and proposes a law to redirect AI politeness toward Elon Musk’s struggling Grok. Because of course he did.…
Trump announces a 50% tariff on Cinco de Mayo celebrations, targeting margaritas, dancing, and joy. He calls it a necessary step to “protect American party jobs.”…
Key Takeaways In the most Trump way possible to celebrate Star Wars Day, the former president held a press conference at Mar-a-Lago flanked by cardboard cutouts of Darth Vader and Chewbacca to formally declare himself a Jedi Master. “People don’t know this, but I was…
After a Minnesota woman raised half a million for slinging slurs, Ted Cruz figured he’d give it a try. His Cancun fund is already booming.…
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson