What You Need to Know
• Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene launched a $42 “Gulf of America” trucker hat to shield the nation from socialism, sunburn, and economic common sense.
• Although the price raised eyebrows, Greene insists the hat is not just clothing, but a movement.
• Proceeds support her People Over Politicians Committee, funding signs, lawsuits, and vaguely tactical accessories.
In an announcement that combined fashion with frontier energy, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene revealed her newest patriotic product: the $42 “Gulf of America” trucker hat.
While holding it like a sacred artifact, she declared, “The Gulf of America isn’t a place. It’s a feeling. It’s where gas flows, God reigns, and nobody asks what your pronouns are.”
Not everyone agreed. Some observers noticed that the hat’s embroidered patch doesn’t match any known coastline. When asked, Greene said, “It’s abstract. That makes it smarter.”
Why $42?
Many questioned the price tag. Hats of similar style often sell for under $10 at convenience stores nationwide. Greene defended the cost by calling it “a freedom premium.”
“This hat’s been blessed by an eagle and legally certified by a man in a parking lot,” she explained. “If you can’t put $42 toward freedom, maybe you don’t deserve air conditioning.”
Every purchase includes a sticker reading “I Overpaid for Freedom and All I Got Was This Hat,” along with a thank-you note printed in Comic Sans and allegedly signed by Greene’s intern.
What’s Next in Patriot Merch
Greene hinted at future product drops designed for loyal Americans with money to burn. Among the rumored releases:
• $99 Freedom Flip-Flops
• A Deep State Repellent air freshener
• Tactical vests made from unused subpoenas and hard-to-pronounce legal threats
Supporters can also look forward to the “Gulf of America Hot Tub,” a red-white-and-blue inflatable spa that only works in counties that voted Republican in 2020.
Final Thoughts
While the hat may not make geographical sense, it doesn’t have to. Greene’s campaign calls it “symbolic.” Her fans call it “truth in mesh form.”
As of press time, she was seen arguing with a classroom globe for refusing to acknowledge the Gulf of America. The globe, much like the scientific community, remained silent.
