Epstein Who? Trump Says He’s Just a ‘Teen Enthusiast’ And Really Into Pageants — ‘Totally Unrelated’
President Trump denies any connection to Epstein, insisting his interest in teen beauty pageants is “just old-school admiration.”…
Trump revamps Alcatraz as a beachfront federal facility “just in case,” sparking speculation it may be his future Mar-a-Locked-Up…
Trump says there are zero Epstein clients, zero inflation, and zero illegal crossings. “That’s not denial,” he explained, “that’s patriotism.”…
Trump calls Epstein story a Democrat hoax, declares he no longer wants the support of followers “who read too much.” MAGA influencers spiral.…
Ghislaine Maxwell offers to testify on Epstein’s clients, but GOP leaders table the issue to chase easier headlines and alien sightings.…
Trump shocks the world, declaring Epstein imaginary and blaming 5G towers, windmills, and beer for widespread delusion.…
Dan Bongino and Pam Bondi settle a high-stakes Epstein tape dispute the old-fashioned way—with flintlock pistols, bruised egos, and absolutely no answers.…
MAGA has officially blamed Jeffrey Epstein for every major American conspiracy, including ones that predate his birth.…
DOJ confirms Epstein died by suicide, Pam Bondi shreds documents during a Zyn-fueled cleaning spree. Cameras reportedly “needed space.”…
Pam Bondi Accidentally Shreds Epstein Files After Mistaking Them for Clutter That ‘Didn’t Spark Joy’
Attorney General Pam Bondi accidentally destroys the first wave of Epstein files after mistaking them for clutter during a late-night Marie Kondo–style cleaning…