Dick’s Sporting Goods Renamed “Erectile Tissue Sporting Goods” in Gender-Neutral Rebranding
In a move towards inclusivity, Dick’s Sporting Goods has announced that they will be rebranding their stores as “Erectile Tissue Sporting Goods” to…
Bud Light Sales Delayed Until 4th Inning to Avoid Triggering Snowflake Baseball Fans
In a response to the recent backlash over Bud Light’s “woke” advertising campaign, Major League Baseball teams have started to experiment with a…
Conservatives Switch to Sniffing Glue after Bud Light and Jack Daniels Boycott
Conservatives across the country are now boycotting their favorite brands of beer and whiskey because they have gone “woke”. Frustrated with the sudden…
Ted Cruz Criticizes Bud Light for Being Out of Touch, Forgets He’s Ted Cruz
Houston, TX – Senator Ted Cruz, known for his recent criticism of Bud Light for being out of touch with their consumers, has…
Christian Communities Call for Ban on Footloose Movie to Avoid Rebellion Among Youth
In the wake of a federal judge ordering the return of banned books to a Texas public library, conservative Christian communities are now…
Bud Light Sales Soar as Gun Loving Conservatives Use Beer Cans for Target Practice
Sales of Bud Light have skyrocketed in recent weeks, reaching an all-time high excluding for the Fourth of July holiday. And what’s driving…
Kid Rock’s Truck Under Threat If GMC Partners With Woke Influencers
Rock artist Kid Rock expressed his concern about the possibility of GMC partnering with “woke” influencers. The musician, who made headlines for firing…
Local Man Insulted By Rainbow After Rain
In a small town in the Midwest, a local father made headlines when he grabbed his shotgun and aimed it at a rainbow…
Governor DeSantis Cancels April Fools’ Day for Being ‘Too Woke,’ Replaces It with ‘Freedom Day’
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has declared that April Fools’ Day will be cancelled this year, citing concerns about its “woke” implications. According to…
Retired Factory Worker Becomes Rock Star of Rural America
Millville, OH, nestled in the rolling hills of rural America, one man has captured the hearts and minds of his fellow citizens with…
