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Elon Musk Offers to Father the Future: Win a Chance to Be Impregnated by the Billionaire—In Space

Because when it comes to saving humanity, Musk says it's time to shoot for the stars... literally.…

Local Woman Shocked to Find Pumpkin Spice Latte Didn’t Solve Her Life Problems

Turns out, seasonal flavors can’t fix existential dread — but they do pair well with it.…

Insane Clown Posse Admitted to Asylum After Harris Endorsement

The Juggalos are in shock as the duo swaps Faygo for political endorsements and lands themselves in a padded room.…

Nation’s Wi-Fi Connections Officially Stronger Than Family Bonds, Study Confirms

Experts recommend upgrading your router —because your emotional bandwidth is already maxed out.…

Macaulay Culkin Buys “Home Alone” House so He Can Burn It Down

After decades of trauma, the actor takes one final stand against holiday nostalgia.…

New Study Finds 99% of Social Media Arguments Would Solve World Peace If Only Conducted in Person

Groundbreaking research shows that the path to world peace may simply involve stepping away from the keyboard.…

DOJ Launches Investigation Into Trump Over Alleged Failure to Wash Hands at McDonald’s

Former President faces scrutiny after claims surface that he returned to work at McDonald's without washing his hands post-bathroom break.…

Donald Trump: From Convicted Felon To McDonald’s Newest Fry Cook

From the Oval Office to the Golden Arches, Donald Trump is flipping more than just opinions — he's flipping burgers.…

60 Minutes Offers Kamala Harris Interview Tapes in Exchange for Donald Trump’s “Apprentice” Racist Tirade Footage

60 Minutes vows to release Kamala Harris’s full interview tapes — if Mark Burnett releases unaired "Apprentice" footage of Donald Trump’s alleged racist outbursts.…

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The Latest

Elon Musk Offers to Father the Future: Win a Chance to Be Impregnated by the Billionaire—In Space

Local Woman Shocked to Find Pumpkin Spice Latte Didn’t Solve Her Life Problems

Insane Clown Posse Admitted to Asylum After Harris Endorsement

Nation’s Wi-Fi Connections Officially Stronger Than Family Bonds, Study Confirms

Macaulay Culkin Buys “Home Alone” House so He Can Burn It Down

New Study Finds 99% of Social Media Arguments Would Solve World Peace If Only Conducted in Person

DOJ Launches Investigation Into Trump Over Alleged Failure to Wash Hands at McDonald’s

Donald Trump: From Convicted Felon To McDonald’s Newest Fry Cook

60 Minutes Offers Kamala Harris Interview Tapes in Exchange for Donald Trump’s “Apprentice” Racist Tirade Footage

WeightWatchers CEO Steps Down; Board Decides to “Weigh” Their Options

Tucker Carlson Finds ‘Freedom’ in Moscow: ‘It’s Like Home, But With Better Vodka and Less Freedom!’

Gaetz and Tate Announce ‘The Misguided Misogynists’ Tour

Trump Supports Biden’s Pardon of Hunter, Hints at Pardoning His Own Children

Biden Pardons Chicken Identifying as Turkey in Thanksgiving Ceremony

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