NEED TO KNOW
- Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky repeatedly thanked Donald Trump to prevent another verbal outburst from Vice President JD Vance.
- The White House reportedly gave Vance a fidget spinner and coloring book to keep him occupied.
- The meeting remained peaceful, with no mineral deals collapsing this time.
In a surprisingly calm Oval Office meeting on Monday, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky opened his remarks by thanking former President Donald Trump four times in quick succession. Sources close to the talks confirmed the move was intentional and designed to avoid a repeat of February’s summit, when Vice President JD Vance interrupted Zelensky to complain about his “lack of gratitude.”
This time, Zelensky was ready. “Thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for your personal efforts. Thank you also to your beautiful wife,” he said before turning to the actual agenda. According to one aide, the Ukrainian delegation referred to this as the “thank-you armor.”
Meanwhile, Vance remained completely silent for the entire meeting. White House sources have since revealed that staff handed him a Patriots-themed coloring book and a fidget spinner minutes before the discussion began. “It worked better than we expected,” said one senior aide. “He focused on coloring the American flag for forty straight minutes and never looked up.”
Several attendees noticed that Vance occasionally hummed quietly to himself while the presidents spoke about war and reconstruction. At one point, Trump leaned over and whispered, “Nice work with the blue crayon,” which reportedly increased Vance’s focus level.
As the meeting ended, Zelensky offered a fifth thank-you “just in case,” and handed Trump a handwritten note expressing appreciation “for not bringing up the suit again.” Trump nodded and said it was “a very sincere letter from a very well-dressed man.”
Honestly, if giving him a coloring book keeps global diplomacy from collapsing, we’ll buy a whole box
Senior Administration Official
