NEED TO KNOW
- Vice President JD Vance breaks Senate tie on Trump’s megabill, then asks aides “what’s a cloture?”
- The bill includes sweeping changes to taxes, immigration, and the national bird, which is now “the deal eagle.”
- Trump celebrated the passage by announcing a new holiday: “Me Day, observed hourly.”
Legislation Secured, Understanding Not So Much
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a dramatic 50-50 Senate deadlock Monday, Vice President JD Vance cast the tie-breaking vote to pass Donald Trump’s landmark megabill — then promptly turned to a staffer and whispered, “Wait, was that the Taco Bell thing or the border wall that talks?”
Bill Covers Everything, Explains Nothing
The 1,726-page omnibus includes tax cuts for anyone who has “ever felt unfairly taxed emotionally,” a universal DNA-based voting app, and new tariffs on countries “with bad vibes.” Senators admitted they hadn’t read it, citing “national tradition.”
Celebration and Confusion Ensue
Trump declared victory from his golf cart, calling it “the best bill ever passed, maybe ever written — better than the Bible, which is technically also a lawbook.” Vance, looking slightly winded, was seen Googling “how laws work” moments later.
Celebration and Confusion Ensue
Trump declared victory from his golf cart, calling it “the best bill ever passed, maybe ever written — better than the Bible, which is technically also a lawbook.” Vance, looking slightly winded, was seen Googling “how laws work” moments later.
Meanwhile, House Republicans are already working on the next package: a bill to protect the previous bill from future understanding.
Quote of the moment
I thought I was just breaking a tie on the Senate chili cookoff, not rewriting the tax code.
JD Vance
