NEED TO KNOW
- Trump demands Washington Commanders revert to “Redskins” and unveils a sketch done on back of Epstein birthday card
- Claims he’s “always been a great drawer, probably top five in America,” while holding a buffalo that looks suspiciously like Louie Gohmert
- Sketching now officially replaces nuclear war as his emotional outlet of choice
PALM BEACH, FL — President Donald Trump reignited controversy in sports, art, and whatever’s left of common decency after personally sketching a proposed new Redskins logo on the back of a birthday note he once sent to Jeffrey Epstein.
“Some people write policy. I draw history,” Trump said, unveiling the crude rendering of a suited man in a feathered headdress riding a buffalo. “It’s powerful. It’s traditional. It says, ‘America First,’ but with crayons.”
The image, done in Sharpie and what might be beef jerky grease, has already polarized fans. Supporters say the return to the Redskins name would “heal a divided locker room,” while critics argue it would reignite every racial controversy since minstrel shows were in vogue.
“Don’t call it offensive, call it expressive,” Trump added. “Epstein would’ve loved it. We had a bond over tasteful things.” When asked if it was appropriate to use a known predator’s birthday card as political stationary, Trump replied, “He’s dead. And that’s called recycling.”
NFL officials declined to comment, though sources say one team owner briefly laughed until realizing he was also named in Epstein’s flight logs.
Quote of the moment
I do my best work when I’m misunderstood and unsupervised
Donald Trump
