NEED TO KNOW
- Elon Musk now claims Trump owes him both the election and America itself, then hints at an “Epstein files” bombshell.
- Trump calls Musk crazy after pulling his beloved EV Mandate, threatens to deport him and cut every subsidy in sight.
- Their ugly feud is so wild, even Congress wants to unplug X for the rest of the month.
A Breakup for the Ages
Elon Musk and Donald Trump’s bromance just melted down. Musk went on X, bragging that Trump would have lost the 2024 election without his help. Trump fired back, hinting that maybe Elon should be shipped off to Mars, or at least the DMV. These two used to post heart emojis for each other. Now they’re launching meme nukes across the internet.
The EV Mandate Meltdown
Musk is furious about Trump’s move to kill the electric vehicle mandate. Trump says Musk only cared once the free government cheese disappeared. Taxpayers now face a new reality: instead of buying an EV, you might end up with a “Big Beautiful Bill” coffee mug. Speaker Mike Johnson tried to mediate but gave up after Musk spammed him with 27 GIFs of exploding rockets.
Congress Dons Hazmat Suits
Now, with the fight on full blast, lawmakers need hazmat suits just to open Twitter. Musk, bored after leaving DOGE, promises to reveal the “real bomb”—suggesting he’ll leak Trump’s name from the Epstein files. Trump’s camp threatens to deport Musk, cancel his contracts, and make him drive a PT Cruiser. Rand Paul is already betting on who loses first.
The Only Winner: Chaos
Trump and Musk keep trading insults. The only thing rising is the meme stock market. No one can say if Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill will help or hurt the deficit, but it’s trending on X under #EpsteinFiles and #Dogecoin. The White House refused to comment, instead sending a Spider-Man meme.
Quote of the Moment
Even my AI has started sending me therapy ads
Rep. Thomas Massie
