NEED TO KNOW
- Norwegian tourist claims he was deported over a bald meme of JD Vance on his phone.
- Homeland Security clarifies it wasn’t about the meme, but refuses to say what it *was* about.
- Experts fear the U.S. may require a meme license and satire registration form by 2026.
Tourist or Subversive Comedian?
Twenty-one-year-old Mads Mikkelsen, a Norwegian tourist with an unfortunate name and even worse phone wallpaper, was reportedly denied entry to the United States after Customs officials discovered an unflattering meme of Vice President JD Vance in his camera roll. The image depicted Vance with a disturbingly smooth egg-shaped head and hauntingly moist eyes, raising questions about national security, Photoshop ethics, and hydration levels.
Homeland Security: Nothing to See Here, But Also Don’t Look
According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, Mikkelsen was not deported for the meme. However, they stopped short of offering any real explanation, citing the vague and always convenient “other concerns.” This has fueled online conspiracy theories ranging from satire trafficking to possessing anti-hair propaganda.
Experts Warn of Satirical Escalation
First it was books. Then tweets. Now, airport satire screening is on the table. “We may soon require travelers to declare whether they’ve ever laughed at The Onion,” said satire policy analyst Dr. Lila Crumb. “And don’t even think about ironic TikToks.” Meanwhile, JD Vance’s office has declined to comment, though one staffer was reportedly seen Googling “how to look more normal on memes.”
Norway Responds, Kind Of
The Norwegian government issued a brief statement: “We assume our citizens have the right to laugh. If that offends America, we recommend they stay home and enjoy the fjords. They’re beautiful and very meme-safe.” Mikkelsen, now back in Oslo, says he plans to vacation somewhere less politically sensitive. “Like Belarus. Or Mordor.”
Quote of the moment
Honestly, we thought the meme was AI-generated. Which made it even worse.
Anonymous CBP Agent
