Scientists from the prestigious Institute of Obvious Observations have come forward with a crucial reminder: summer is, in fact, hotter than other…
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Washington, D.C. – It has been disclosed that secret service agents are undergoing rigorous training to tackle the herculean task of “Joe-wrangling.” According to our elusive insider, President Joe Biden’s penchant for wandering off has become a notorious challenge for his security detail. “It’s like…
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Washington D.C. – Former President Donald Trump took to Social Media this morning to boast about his latest achievement: a third indictment. While most politicians would shy away from such legal troubles, Trump has embraced them with the same enthusiasm as a kid unwrapping Christmas…
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Washington D.C. – Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has extended an unexpected invitation to Hunter Biden, son of former President Joe Biden, to be the star attraction at her close friend’s bachelorette party. In a handwritten letter, adorned with glittery unicorns and rainbows, Rep. Greene urged…
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New York City, NY — The Former Mayor of New York City and former personal attorney to Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, has finally come clean about the “false” statements he made in recent years. But before you jump to conclusions, hold your horses – this…
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Biden’s “Democratic” Dog Enforces Party Loyalty by Biting Secret Service Members Who Voted for Trump
Washington D.C. – President Joe Biden’s pet dog, Commander, has taken on the role of the “Democratic Dog Enforcer,” using his sharp teeth to express his displeasure with Secret Service members who allegedly voted for former President Donald Trump. Commander, a German Shepherd, had been portrayed…
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WASHINGTON D.C. – Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene left her fellow lawmakers scratching their heads during a special congressional committee meeting yesterday. While the committee was assembled to discuss critical policy issues, Greene took an unexpected detour by presenting a slideshow of her recent CrossFit competition,…
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The latest unemployment figures have taken an unexpected nosedive, leaving economists scratching their heads and politicians high-fiving each other. The secret behind this miraculous feat? People taking on not one, not two, but three jobs to bravely combat the ever-increasing inflation rates. Move over superheroes;…
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Democrats across the nation are turning their attention to an unexpected crisis: racial disparities in drowning deaths. Armed with the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), they are now calling for radical solutions to address this pressing issue. According to…
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Tech mogul and part-time space enthusiast Elon Musk announced the rebranding of Twitter as “Qwitter” to better align with the growing dominance of QAnon conspiracy theories on the platform. The decision came as no surprise to those who have followed Musk’s eclectic and unconventional business…
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Democrats are on the move to reform the tax code, provide universal healthcare, protect voting rights, and boost the economy, while Republicans seem more concerned with trivialities like burning Barbies, shooting Bud Light cans, and debating the color of a mermaid’s skin in a fictional…
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Congressman Matt Gaetz has landed the role of Butt-Head in the upcoming live-action remake of the beloved MTV animated series Beavis and Butt-Head. Gaetz, known for his headline-grabbing antics and legal troubles, has been hailed by the film’s producers as the perfect embodiment of the…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson