Donald Trump has banned Elon Musk from Mar-a-Lago’s Taco Night after a megabill snub, sparking a political-tech feud involving drones, PACs, and…
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New research confirms you’ve officially made it to the lower-middle class if you own a Bluetooth air fryer and spend 17% of your income on flavored seltzers.…
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Senators accidentally passed the Bible as federal law after dozens of sleepless votes. Clerks are unsure whether to file it under Religious Statutes or Historical Fiction.…
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After Malik Beasley was linked to suspicious betting, the NBA unveiled a groundbreaking program allowing players to bet on themselves—officially this time.…
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Elon Musk’s sprawling family has reached federal recognition status, earning its own protected designation as a National Forest.…
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A couple’s day at Disney World took a turn when a sports bra sparked a dress code standoff and her husband’s tank top muscles caused additional emotional turbulence.…
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In a 6–3 ruling, the Supreme Court has officially selected Arby’s for lunch, declaring meat a constitutional right and throwing soup-sippers into judicial chaos.…
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The Supreme Court backs Texas’ porn ID law, creating the world’s first digital strip search to protect minors from seeing what their gym teachers wear in summer.…
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Trump’s latest trade agreement triples tariffs on U.S. consumers while letting China off the hook, an economic strategy now known as “patriotic masochism.”…
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A UC Davis study found lead levels in some disposable vapes equivalent to 19 packs of cigarettes. Experts say it’s like inhaling a melted penny wrapped in a fruit roll-up.…
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Microsoft says goodbye to the blue screen of death and hello to a black one, now featuring quicker restarts and passive-aggressive commentary from “Dark Lord Clippy.”…
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Consumer spending fell as Americans abandoned purchases in restaurants, car lots, and especially Home Depot, where vibes replaced budgets.…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson