Elon Musk fired off an angry tweet after finally reading Congress’s latest spending bill, calling it a “disgusting abomination” that will explode the deficit and crush taxpayers for years.…
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The US national debt has surpassed both the Dow Jones and the S&P 500 for consistent returns, leaving investors jealous and Congress eager to keep the winning streak alive.…
Marjorie Taylor Greene admits she missed a 10-year AI loophole buried deep in the One Big Beautiful Bill, now promising to “read at least the good parts” in the future.…
Darren Beattie, Trump’s new State Department pick, ditches the Russia-watchdog, then hosts a ballet and caviar party for staff. Putin might finally get his own parking spot in D.C.…
FEMA Chief Admits He Didn’t Know Hurricanes Had a “Season,” Agency Morale Now at Category Five
4 mins read
FEMA’s new leader baffled staff after admitting he didn’t realize the US has a hurricane season. Employees now rate internal confusion at Category Five.…
President Trump is reportedly venting about his Supreme Court nominations, focusing his ire on Justice Amy Coney Barrett after rulings that didn’t match his expectations. White House aides say he’s explored “return options,” but the Supreme Court has a strict no-returns policy.…
Dale Gribble Finally Realizes John Redcorn Wasn’t Just Giving Nancy “Headache Treatments”
4 mins read
Dale finally noticed John Redcorn’s secret, now Rainey Street will never be the same.…
A new study reveals the secret to ending 99% of arguments: simply admit you’re wrong, let the other person win, and watch domestic tranquility soar.…
Louisiana’s House passed a bill to ban “chemtrails,” promising to investigate clouds that might look guilty. Scientists say the sky is safe, but politicians are keeping their eyes peeled.…
Trump warns on Truth Social that overturning tariffs will lead to America’s economic doom. Experts say: maybe just chill bro.…
Speaker Mike Johnson Says Losing Medicaid Is a ‘Choice,’ Millions Choose Not to Celebrate
3 mins read
House Speaker Mike Johnson says losing Medicaid is a choice, but millions disagree as new work rules threaten coverage.…
Freedom-loving conservatives launch protest against Pride Month, accidentally argue for fewer rights while waving flags and demanding camo rainbow menus at Cracker Barrel.…

Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson