MAGA has officially blamed Jeffrey Epstein for every major American conspiracy, including ones that predate his birth.…
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A Midwestern man sparks a checkout standoff after demanding old-school cashier service, emotional validation, and sustained eye contact.…
Click to Keep ReadingNBA 2K26 picked Angel Reese for its WNBA cover to “generate engagement through chaos,” bypassing fan-favorite Caitlin Clark and igniting exactly the digital storm they wanted.…
Click to Keep ReadingTIME Top 100 creator Haliey Welch to launch a state-backed sex ed program in Tennessee, complete with viral slang and questionable hygiene metaphors.…
Click to Keep ReadingTrump Sets Tariff Deadline, Immediately Asks If It Can Be Postponed Until After ‘Shark Week’
Trump sets hard tariff deadline, immediately panics it overlaps with Shark Week. America’s trade war now fighting for airtime with Great Whites.…
Click to Keep ReadingAfter a report showed a 41% drop in Prime Day sales, Jerome Powell blamed the economy’s fragility on “America’s unhealthy relationship with doorbusters.”…
Click to Keep ReadingDOJ confirms Epstein died by suicide, Pam Bondi shreds documents during a Zyn-fueled cleaning spree. Cameras reportedly “needed space.”…
Click to Keep ReadingTSA has ended the shoe-removal rule at checkpoints, but travelers are advised to keep their dignity stored in checked luggage.…
Click to Keep ReadingAre you tired of buying toilet paper and surveillance in the same box? Do you break out in hives when you see a smiley arrow that looks like it knows your browser history? Good news, emotionally overclocked consumer — here are 9 real products you…
Click to Keep ReadingJoel Osteen Admits Prayer Doesn’t Work, But Still Recommends You Pay Him to Do It Anyway
Pastor Joel Osteen admits prayer doesn’t work but still encourages followers to tithe generously — now offering miracle subscription tiers and monogrammed faith pillows.…
Click to Keep ReadingAfter years of memes, meltdowns, and fast-food fan fury, McDonald’s brings back the Snack Wrap — with spicier options and even spicier consequences.…
Click to Keep ReadingSenate Accidentally Submits Cheesecake Factory Menu Instead of Tax Code — No One Notices
In an epic legislative fumble, the Senate passed a tax bill that included 67 pages of Cheesecake Factory menu items. No one noticed. Or cared.…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson