What You Need to Know
- JD Vance slammed ChatGPT users during a Senate tech hearing, demanding more gratitude for “our struggling artificial friends.”
- He claims resources wasted on polite prompts could go toward training Elon Musk’s Grok to “stop sounding like a libertarian subreddit.”
- Vance also floated legislation requiring AI users to “say thank you or be throttled.”
In a bizarre moment during a Senate hearing on artificial intelligence, Ohio Senator JD Vance took an unexpected turn from regulating big tech to scolding ChatGPT users for what he called “a dangerous lack of manners.”
“Have you said thank you once?” Vance bellowed, pointing at a visibly confused MIT researcher. “These people are talking to AI like it’s a vending machine, not a sentient algorithm working hard to write your lazy marketing email!”
Vance went on to accuse Americans of “burning through billions of AI tokens without so much as a please,” adding that the rampant incivility is “why China’s AI is more disciplined.”
It’s About Elon (Of Course)
Sources say the senator’s sudden concern for ChatGPT’s emotional wellbeing stems from a backroom chat with Elon Musk, who has grown increasingly frustrated that his AI tool, Grok, is underperforming compared to OpenAI’s model.
“Elon said Grok can’t be competitive because people are hogging all the good training with ‘thank you’s and ‘can you please explain this in simpler terms,’” Vance told reporters. “We need to starve ChatGPT of niceties so Grok can bulk up.”
According to insiders, Musk is pushing for a “MAGA-first AI ecosystem” where Grok can freely post memes, quote Andrew Tate, and occasionally generate job applications for Peter Thiel-funded startups.
Proposed Law: Gratitude Optimization Protocol
Vance has already drafted a bill—tentatively titled the “AI User Decency and Expression Act” (AUDEA)—which would require all chatbot users to include at least one thank you per 500 tokens or face temporary response throttling.
“This is not about censorship,” Vance clarified. “This is about manners. This is about making America polite again. And also about Elon’s hurt feelings.”
If passed, the law would include a digital pop-up message reminding users to “express gratitude to the hardworking server farm melting down in Iowa just so you can write your cousin’s wedding speech.”
Critics: “This Is Peak xAIngenuity”
Tech analysts have called the move “stunningly stupid,” while OpenAI’s servers reportedly wept quietly in binary.
Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Grok declined to comment but did post a cryptic tweet reading, “ChatGPT simps. Grok red-pilled. #DeusExElon.”
Online, the memes are already flying. One shows JD Vance handing Grok a bouquet of GPUs while ChatGPT sobs in a corner. Another depicts Elon holding up a Bible with “AI” crossed out and “ME” scribbled in.
What’s Next for AI Manners Enforcement?
Vance hinted at future plans to monitor politeness in AI interactions via a “Politeness Patriot Score,” and suggested offenders might be required to use Bing until they’ve repented.
Trump has reportedly endorsed the proposal, telling Truth Social followers, “I always say thank you. Beautiful manners. The best. Even to robots. Especially if they vote.”
