NEED TO KNOW
- Putin shook Trump’s hand in Alaska, then shook Ukraine with 600 missiles.
- Target was a US-owned electronics factory, proving Putin hates both freedom and Xbox.
- Trump praised the strike as “classic business leverage, very Art of the Deal.”
Ukraine was still counting missile craters Thursday morning after Russia unleashed one of the war’s largest aerial barrages, targeting a US-owned electronics factory in Mukachevo. The strike came less than 72 hours after Donald Trump’s Alaska peace summit with Vladimir Putin, which Trump had hailed as “the best deal since Manhattan real estate in the 80s.”
Homeland officials confirmed the factory was manufacturing consumer electronics ranging from car control units to coffee machines. Russian state TV called it “a direct hit against the American Dream,” while locals called it “Tuesday.”
The timing raised eyebrows. Hours after Putin promised Trump “peace and friendship,” Russia launched over 600 drones and missiles. Asked about the contradiction, Trump explained: “That’s called strong negotiating energy. Putin respects me so much he bombed an Xbox factory just to show me how powerful his respect is.”
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was less amused. “Apparently Alaska was not far enough from reality for Trump,” he said, adding that Putin’s handshake diplomacy had lasted exactly as long as Trump’s Moscow hotel mattresses.
Critics noted that while Russia claimed the attack deterred “Western militarism,” the only casualties were 15 factory workers, 200 laptops, and several thousand unfinished Keurigs. The Pentagon pointed out the irony of Putin wasting multimillion-dollar cruise missiles on appliances that already explode by themselves after three years.
Meanwhile, Trump’s peace envoy described the strike as “a strong opening bid.” Supporters at a rally in Tulsa cheered, with one man shouting: “Finally, a president who knows how to lose a factory and still win a headline.”
Negotiations are a lot like microwaves. Sometimes you have to watch them spark before dinner’s ready.
Steve Witkoff, Trump Peace Envoy
