NEED TO KNOW
- Trump says the Nobel Committee owes him “at least one redo.”
- FIFA claims it created the prize to honor “peace and also ratings.”
- Officials confirm VAR cannot, in fact, overturn entire decades of history.
Donald Trump accepted the first ever FIFA Peace Prize on Thursday and celebrated the moment by demanding an immediate video review of the Nobel Committee’s past decisions. He told the audience at the World Cup draw that a “blown call” robbed him of the Nobel Peace Prize and that FIFA has a duty to fix it. The crowd clapped while security debated whether he was joking.
FIFA President Gianni Infantino praised Trump for his “unique and creative methods of achieving peace.” He also thanked Trump for appearing at more FIFA events this year than several actual players. The organization created the prize last month, which surprised no one, because Infantino has smiled at Trump with the enthusiasm of a man who just found a new superfan.
Trump Says Nobel Snub Was “Clear and Obvious Error”
Trump held up his medal and asked if a referee could overturn Nobel voting from 2018 onward. He argued the Nobel Committee failed to understand his genius for “ending conflicts, starting new ones, and keeping everyone busy.” He then attempted to summon VAR by staring into a camera and waving his hands in circular motions.
Officials explained that VAR cannot review events that did not occur on a pitch, including diplomatic incidents. Trump rejected that idea and said VAR should be expanded to include “all human history, major or minor.” He added that the technology could also be used to prove he touched the Club World Cup trophy legally.
FIFA Leans Fully Into the Bit
Infantino stood by Trump and claimed the award celebrated “peace, unity, and also ticket sales.” He recounted Trump’s role in several global agreements, including a ceasefire ceremony where Infantino appeared in more photos than some diplomats. Trump smiled as though he was accepting the Golden Boot.
Many spectators asked why the head of world soccer was delivering a political speech. Infantino responded by unveiling a new FIFA initiative titled “Peace Through Brackets,” which aims to schedule world leaders into friendly group-stage matches.
Analysts doubt the plan will work, but Trump said it was brilliant and that he would win his group “even if Putin shows up with cleats.” Shortly after, he reminded reporters that winning the peace prize was not his goal. He simply wants “justice, glory, and maybe a second medal.”
The ceremony ended when Trump asked if Ronaldo could also endorse the medal. Ronaldo clapped politely while looking for the exit.
Peace is easy when you declare yourself the winner before the match starts
Drayton Keane, International Sports Philosophy Lab
