NEED TO KNOW
- Trump toured Windsor Castle with King Charles III and Queen Camilla.
- He asked several questions about crowns, thrones, and “royal upgrades.”
- Protesters gathered in London. Photos, smiles, and polite confusion filled Windsor.
President Donald Trump visited Windsor Castle to “study kingship.” He came ready with notes, questions, and a color palette. First item: could the crown come in MAGA red. King Charles replied that the jewels do not ship in rally colors.
Trump nodded, then asked about bulk pricing. He praised the throne room. He also compared it to a “very classy” lobby in Florida. Charles changed the topic to history. Trump changed it back to hats.
Lessons In Royal Basics
Melania studied the paintings in silence. Meanwhile, Trump asked if a king signs executive orders. Charles explained the job again: ceremonies, speeches, charity, unity. Trump said unity sounds “very negotiable.”
Guides pointed to the Coronation Chair. Trump liked the seat. However, he wanted cup holders, Wi-Fi, and a Diet Coke button. Charles said the chair stays as is. Trump said upgrades would “move numbers.”
Brand Ideas At The Castle
Next, Trump pitched a crown “franchise” for Mar-a-Lago. He floated a “King of Deals” title. He also asked if guards could march at rallies. The guides smiled. Then they checked their watches.
Outside, cameras clicked. Inside, Trump compared Windsor to his golf clubs. He asked if the gift shop carries tiaras in bulk. He also requested a finder’s fee for any new castle members. Charles said membership is not a thing.
Pageantry Meets Polling
Protesters gathered in London with signs and chants. Windsor stayed calm and floral. Trump told reporters the crowds loved him. British press reported mixed reviews. Both sides left certain they were right.
Finally, the tour ended in a china room. Trump asked if Burger King can sponsor coronations. Charles chose not to answer. Instead, he lifted a teacup and smiled. The message was clear: thank you for visiting, please enjoy the biscuits.
If he installs cup holders in the Coronation Chair, I quit.
Nigel Wetherby, Royal Historical Society
