NEED TO KNOW
- French First Lady Brigitte Macron filed a defamation suit after Candace Owens spread rumors she was born male.
- Owens claims the lawsuit is both “un-American” and “suspiciously well-dressed.”
- President Macron is reportedly furious Owens mistook his wife for his backup Prime Minister.
Candace Owens, America’s unofficial ambassador of unhinged confidence, has refused to apologize after Brigitte Macron filed a defamation suit alleging Owens repeatedly claimed the French First Lady was “a man with better skincare than me.” The lawsuit, filed in Paris and dripping with cologne, alleges Owens profited off “knowingly false and deeply weird insinuations.”
Owens responded during a livestream surrounded by framed copies of the Constitution and three bottles of hair oil. “I stand by everything I said. France can kiss my baguette,” she declared, claiming the lawsuit violated her First Amendment rights, her Fifth Amendment vibes, and “possibly the Geneva Convention.”
Macron supporters said the First Lady was “deeply insulted,” while Emmanuel Macron was seen Googling “how to look manly in a tux next to a 70-year-old goddess.” French officials called Owens’ remarks a diplomatic incident. Owens doubled down, saying, “Wouldn’t be the first Frenchman in drag to slap me, and it won’t be the last.”
The case is scheduled for next spring, or sooner if France runs out of patience or rosé. Owens is reportedly considering a countersuit for “emotional distress caused by being too right, too often.”
Quote of the moment
I call it cultural exchange. They export cheese, I export chaos
Candice Owens, probably
