NEED TO KNOW
- CDC confirms first U.S. human case of screwworm parasite in decades
- President Trump says “Wind Turbines” are responsible for spreading the bugs
- Experts clarify that parasites don’t ride windmills, but Trump insists they do “when they spin very fast”
The Screwworm Returns
Health officials confirmed the first human case of New World screwworm in Maryland, traced to a traveler from Guatemala. The rare parasite, known for burrowing into living flesh, sent shockwaves through cattle producers and veterinarians. But President Donald Trump quickly redirected the panic to his favorite villain: wind turbines.
“Everybody’s talking about this worm, a terrible worm, worst worm maybe in history,” Trump told reporters. “And I’ll tell you why it’s here: windmills. The bugs fly into them, they get chopped up, and the pieces — infected pieces — fall right onto Americans. Disgusting, but very true. Everyone’s saying it.”
From Climate Change to Bug Change
Scientists have long studied how screwworms spread through livestock and warm climates. Trump, however, announced he had “special intel” that the parasites arrived on “Biden-backed wind energy.” “They don’t want you to know it,” Trump continued, “but every time a turbine spins, hundreds of bugs are thrown like Chinese ninja stars straight into our country.”
Agriculture officials politely disagreed, noting the parasite was likely carried across borders the traditional way: by travelers or livestock. But Trump doubled down, warning that “solar panels could be next, frying bugs into superbugs.”
The Epstein List Diversion?
Critics suggested Trump’s fixation on screwworms might be a distraction from the still-missing Epstein client list. Asked directly, Trump pivoted: “Screwworms are worse than Epstein, folks. Much worse. At least Epstein didn’t crawl into your leg and eat it from the inside. Probably. Nobody knows for sure.”
Meanwhile, ranchers expressed concern that cattle markets could be disrupted. Trump instead promised a “new, beautiful anti-bug tariff” that Mexico would “pay for immediately.”
As the CDC worked on treatment protocols, Trump’s team began selling limited-edition “Stop the Worm” hats for $59.99. They are reportedly red with a picture of a wind turbine falling over.
Screwworms may not be linked to wind energy, but in Trump’s America, the spin never really stops.
They’re calling it flesh-eating, but really it’s election-eating
Dr. Randy Pickens, Institute for Bug Truth
