NEED TO KNOW
- Doctors believe Trump’s legs are swollen from holding in “too much America.”
- The rare condition has been officially dubbed Patriotic Obstruction Syndrome (POS).
- Treatment plan includes looser pants, Bengay, and fewer standing ovations.
President Donald Trump, now serving his second presidential term, has apparently developed a new condition known as Patriotic Obstruction Syndrome. Medical staff observed that his legs suffered from vascular congestion after enduring hours of pledge recitals and MAGA rallies.
The White House issued a statement explaining that diagnostic studies revealed an “excessive backup of freedom” in Trump’s lower body. Doctors warned the condition worsened whenever he tried to salute or stand for extended periods.
“His veins simply can’t handle that much national pride at once,” said Dr. Sean Barbabella, referencing Trump’s habit of wearing heavy, gold-lined boots during public events. The physician added that the swelling is not dangerous, just “very loud.”
Treatment involves daily time on a reclining gold throne—er, golf cart—plus anti-inflammatory creams and Sunday afternoon naps. Trump’s medical team also advised fewer standing ovations.
Secret Service operatives are now trained to gently elevate his legs during the national anthem and at fast-food ribbon-cuttings.
Quote of the moment
When your knees can’t absorb this level of patriotism, you know you’re doing something right
Dr. Trixie Pruett, Mar‑a‑Lago Wellness Institute
