NEED TO KNOW
- Trump unveiled a $175 billion “Golden Dome” missile defense plan aimed at stopping enemy attacks from space
- Former Rep. Matt Gaetz, thinking it was something entirely different, offered to serve as “special dome advisor”
- Officials clarified it involves satellites, not sensual innuendo, but Gaetz still seemed eager to “support the mission”
Trump’s Dome Gets Unexpected Support from Former Congressman
WASHINGTON — Former Florida congressman and part-time scandal magnet Matt Gaetz has once again made headlines, this time for enthusiastically supporting President Trump’s new “Golden Dome” missile defense initiative — but for all the wrong reasons.
Sources inside the Golden Dome caucus confirm Gaetz submitted an unsolicited handwritten proposal outlining “advanced dome deployment techniques” before anyone told him the program was about defense satellites and not something he misheard at a Vegas pool party.
“Look, I’m not one to back down from a strong dome policy,” Gaetz said. “When the president says he needs coverage, I’m ready to contribute in any way I can. And by any, I mean literally any.”
Pentagon staff reportedly had to explain multiple times that the $175 billion plan involves space-based interceptors, not adult-themed aerospace architecture. Gaetz, however, remained undeterred. “Missiles? Satellites? Fine,” he shrugged. “As long as there’s a dome, I’m game.”
An internal memo from the Defense Department noted: “We believe Mr. Gaetz may be confusing missile shielding with whatever he Googled last night.”
Golden Dome’s Goals, Misinterpreted
While Trump envisions Golden Dome as a patriotic shield to protect America from space-launched weapons, Gaetz initially thought it was “maybe a revival of a Florida beach club idea” he’d pitched in 2013.
“Frankly, I’ve seen domes in all shapes and sizes,” he said. “You don’t get to be a legend in Panama City without knowing your way around one.”
Though his support is being politely ignored, Gaetz insists he’s drafting a TikTok series called “Dome Zone: Protecting Freedom in 69 Seconds or Less.”
Trump, when asked about Gaetz’s involvement, said, “Matt’s very energetic, and I hear he knows a lot about things in orbit. Not sure which orbit, but people are saying it’s impressive.”
Quote of the Moment
I’ve supported good dome since college. This isn’t my first rodeo, though it might be my first Senate hearing that doesn’t end in litigation.
Matt Gaetz
