NEED TO KNOW
- FBI Director Kash Patel reportedly used a DOJ jet for a wrestling event featuring his girlfriend.
- He previously attacked former directors for the same thing, which is now “different” because of “love.”
- Sources confirm no official business was conducted, unless “clapping loudly” counts as surveillance.
STATE COLLEGE, PA — FBI Director Kash Patel faced scrutiny this week after reports showed he used a Department of Justice jet to attend a wrestling event where his girlfriend, country singer Alexis Wilkins, performed. Patel insisted the flight was “an undercover assignment” and said the operation’s code name, “Mission: Body Slam,” was entirely coincidental.
Flight data revealed that a government aircraft left Manassas, Virginia, bound for State College, Pennsylvania, the same day Wilkins appeared at the Real American Freestyle wrestling event. The jet later continued to Nashville, where Wilkins lives. Patel described the trip as “a multi-state counterintelligence effort involving rhythm, patriotism, and music.”
Critics were quick to recall Patel’s earlier criticism of former FBI Director Christopher Wray for taking similar trips. In 2023, Patel accused Wray of “flying around like an entitled rock star” and said his taxpayer-funded jet “should be grounded immediately.” When pressed on the apparent hypocrisy, Patel replied, “That was different. Wray wasn’t in love or wearing cowboy boots.”
Love in the Time of Oversight
Patel, 45, defended his actions by noting that federal rules require him to use government aircraft for all travel. “Congress made it mandatory,” he said. “They never said I couldn’t protect democracy and romance at the same time.”
Witnesses said Patel sat ringside in a navy suit, clapping in sync with the national anthem and occasionally whispering into a secure earpiece. One attendee claimed he shouted “Maintain freedom formation!” when Wilkins hit a high note. Sources at the event described the director as “emotionally invested and possibly doing surveillance on the concession stand.”
The FBI declined to clarify whether Patel’s attendance served an investigative purpose. However, insiders said the bureau might soon launch a new initiative called the Bureau of Entertainment Security and Tourism, or BEST, to “streamline fieldwork with personal flair.”
Public Reaction Mixed but Entertained
Members of Congress voiced concern over Patel’s repeated use of government jets for personal travel. Several noted that he has flown to Nashville multiple times under the guise of “outreach.” Supporters defended him, arguing that love can be a “national morale asset.”
“People think I’m just watching wrestling,” Patel told reporters. “But I’m watching over America. From really good seats.”
He then praised taxpayers for “funding the future of romance and security.” Wilkins smiled beside him, boarding what appeared to be the same jet moments later.
It’s a rare case where national security and national embarrassment share the same flight path, said Randy Slammer, Ethics and Aviation Oversight Council
