NEED TO KNOW
- The Senate mistakenly submitted the Cheesecake Factory menu as the tax code
- Lawmakers praised the “diverse formatting” and passed it anyway
- Several senators now insist avocado egg rolls count as critical infrastructure
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress has officially passed a sprawling tax bill that, thanks to a late-night mix-up, included 67 pages of the Cheesecake Factory menu. Remarkably, no one in either chamber noticed the error before final approval.
The mistake occurred when a Senate staffer uploaded the wrong file during a last-minute amendment scramble. The intended document contained complex tax formulas. The uploaded one began with “Appetizers to Share.” Lawmakers voted anyway, citing “delicious formatting and bold economic flavor.”
New Deductions Include Tex-Mex Egg Rolls and Strawberry Lemonade
Senator Bill Cassidy defended the bill, stating, “The Louisiana Chicken Pasta credit creates jobs and stimulates digestion.” Mitch McConnell reportedly declared it “the most palatable legislation we’ve ever passed.”
Freedom Caucus Briefly Objects, Then Orders Dessert
Some House Republicans expressed concern over the confusion. However, their objections were quickly muted after a Senate page handed out complimentary cheesecake slices. Rep. Mike Kelly called the accidental $3 billion real estate break “a sweet finish.”
IRS Confused But Hungry
The IRS has not clarified whether new deductions will include Happy Hour combos. A spokesperson confirmed that audits may now require proof of entrée selection and loyalty card usage.
Despite calls to fix the error, the bill was sent to President Trump’s desk. A White House source confirmed the president found the typo “very legal and very tasty.”
Quote of the moment
I thought it was just another corporate subsidy menu
Bill Cassidy
