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The Paradox of Polling
A new nationwide survey has revealed that a majority of Americans do not trust polls, according to the very poll they do not trust. The finding has sparked an existential crisis for pollsters, who now face the impossible task of convincing the public their disbelief is statistically accurate.
Researchers say 62 percent of respondents claimed they did not trust polling data. However, when asked if they trusted that specific figure, most participants replied, “Absolutely not,” before hanging up or walking away.
Pollsters Struggle to Spin Results
Polling firms attempted to reassure the public by emphasizing their methods, which included landlines, text surveys, and awkward clipboard encounters outside strip malls. Ironically, the more transparent the process became, the less faith people reported having in the outcome.
One frustrated statistician admitted, “We’re not sure if the poll was wrong, or if the people answering were wrong, or if reality itself is wrong. Our best guess: all three.”
Next Steps Include More Polls
Despite the results, industry leaders insist the solution to distrust in polling is more polling. Plans are already underway for a new survey titled, “Do You Trust the Last Poll About Not Trusting Polls?” Early focus groups suggest the answer will be a definitive maybe.
Critics argue the cycle is damaging democracy, while defenders claim it is democracy in its purest form: citizens voicing their opinions about ignoring opinions that were voiced earlier.
We asked people if they trusted this quote and they said no — American Institute of Shrugging
