NEED TO KNOW
SpaceX Declares Victory, Despite Total Loss
The ninth launch of SpaceX’s Starship rocket ended in dramatic fashion after a propellant leak caused the vehicle to spin like a rogue fidget spinner. What was meant to be a landmark test flight quickly turned into a high-altitude interpretive dance routine, ending with a splash of shrapnel in the Indian Ocean. Elon Musk later confirmed the incident, calling it a “rapid unscheduled orbital pirouette.”
Starship’s Booster Just Wanted to Be a Firework
Meanwhile, the Super Heavy booster—supposedly reusable—chose to explode during its return, as if insulted by the prospect of another launch. This marks the first time SpaceX reused a booster that clearly had unresolved trauma.
Houston, the Rocket is Breakdancing Again
The test was intended to advance SpaceX’s goal of creating a reusable system for moon and Mars travel. But as mission control watched the rocket spin uncontrollably, the only thing reusable was the disappointment. Engineers have confirmed they will continue data review and possibly therapy.
It was like watching a washing machine launch itself into orbit with anger issues.
Florida man watching the livestream from his RV
