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Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor| Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive| Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove| Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work| Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring| Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club| “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text| Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine| Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity| Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS| AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview| Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast| Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power| Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles| Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor| Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive| Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove| Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work| Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring| Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club| “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text| Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine| Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity| Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS| AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview| Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast| Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power| Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles| Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency
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Russia

Russia Opens Doors to Refugees: Free Entry in Exchange for Enlisting in Their Military

Russia has announced a groundbreaking new approach to handling the global refugee crisis. The Kremlin has unveiled a unique offer that allows refugees to seek safe haven within its borders, provided they’re willing…

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Kari Lake Plans Move to Russia for “Fair Election” Hopes

Phoenix, Arizona – Former news anchor Kari Lake announced her decision to relocate to Russia, citing the country’s “fair election” system as the primary reason for her move after losing her 2022 bid…

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Putin Outraged as Ukraine Violates Drone No-Fly Zone Ignoring Their Own Invasion of Ukraine

Russian President Vladimir Putin has expressed outrage over Ukraine’s alleged violation of a no drone zone. According to reports, two Ukrainian drones were spotted flying over a restricted area, prompting Putin to issue…

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Putin Hires Tucker Carlson for Expertise in Spreading Fake News

Moscow (Russia) – In a not so surprising move, the Russian State Television has announced that Tucker Carlson, a former host at a lesser-known news network, has been invited by Vladimir Putin to…

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Paws for Alarm: President Biden’s Dog Revealed as Russian Spy

Washington D.C. – After an extensive investigation into the recent classified document data leaks, it turns out that President Biden’s German Shepherd, Commander has been identified as the source of a recent data…

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JD Vance to Attend Pope Leo XIV’s First Mass, Promises Not to Kill Him

Warner Bros. Discovery Changes Names More Than Prince, Reverts Back to HBO Max

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