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Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything| Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything|
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Congress

US Capitol Building with Waiving Flag

Congress Accidentally Bans Weekends in 3,200-Page Infrastructure Bill

In a legislative blunder, Congress passed an infrastructure bill that inadvertently bans weekends, leaving the nation in a state of exhausted confusion.…

Side-by-side photos of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Laura Loomer both wearing red dresses during public appearances

AOC’s Secret Weight Gain? Experts Diagnose “Living Rent-Free in Loomer’s Head”

Laura Loomer claims AOC has gained 50 pounds in Congress, but the only thing really gaining traction is Loomer’s obsession. As AOC racks…

Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story standing together in a child’s bedroom

Disney Acquires Congress, Promises Funnier Bills, Better Costumes

Disney’s new Congress promises more fun and music, with new laws passed only after a sing-along and a costume contest.…

Elon Musk pouting at a Senate hearing while holding colorful stickers and being handed a crayon by a serious-looking senator.

Senate Offers Musk a Crayon and Stickers to Calm Him Down

Senators offer Elon Musk a craft table and sticker chart after he calls on Congress to “KILL THE BILL,” reminding him budget proposals…

Split image of President Joe Biden and Congressman James Comer arguing over an executive order, with a close-up of an autopen machine signing a document in the center.

Biden Autopen Faces Congress: Will It Get a Pension or a Perjury Charge?

Congress is investigating whether Joe Biden’s autopen deserves a presidential pension, a prime spot at the Smithsonian, or a day in court. Trump…

Elon Musk sitting beside Tesla’s humanoid Optimus robot against a red background.

Elon Musk Vows to “Terminate” Politicians with Tesla Bots and Starlink Death Rays

Elon Musk isn’t just calling to fire politicians—he’s threatening to replace them with robots and aim Starlink satellites at Congress. D.C. insiders now…

Donald Trump in a red MAGA hat stands behind Elon Musk adjusting his sunglasses, both facing forward with intense expressions.

Elon Musk Tweets Outrage After Sobering Up and Finally Reading Congressional Bill

Elon Musk fired off an angry tweet after finally reading Congress’s latest spending bill, calling it a “disgusting abomination” that will explode the…

Red-toned graph showing U.S. federal debt as a rising wave of $100 bills, dramatically increasing after 2008 and peaking post-2020.

US National Debt Outperforms Dow Jones and S&P 500

The US national debt has surpassed both the Dow Jones and the S&P 500 for consistent returns, leaving investors jealous and Congress eager…

Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” Passes by One Vote, Nation Now Only One Cracker Barrel Fight from Collapse

Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill passes by one vote, making history and ensuring toddlers can now invest tax-free in freedom.…

Congress Accidentally Passes Useful Bill, Immediately Apologizes

Congress passed a bill that helps real people. Officials quickly apologized, burned it, and promised to never be effective again.…

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