• My Saves
  • My Feed
The Folly Times
  • Politics
  • U.S.
  • World
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  •  The Latest
Categories
  • Business
  • Cartoons
  • Celebrities
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Family
  • Health
  • Law
  • Religion
  • Science
  • Sports
  • Tech
Useful Links
  • About Us
  • The Newsletter
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Terms of Use
Follow the Folly
Reading: Trump ‘Declassified’ Golf Scorecard, Says Losers ‘Just Don’t Golf at My Level’
Share
Notification
Font ResizerAa
The Folly TimesThe Folly Times
  • Politics
  • U.S.
  • Business
  • Lifestyle
  • World
  • Entertainment
  • Sports
  • Law
  • Tech
  • Health
Search
  • Quick Links
    • Latest
    • Boomer Mode
    • My Feed
    • My Saves
  • Sections
    • Business
    • Celebrities
    • Dear Folly
    • Education
    • Entertainment
    • Family
    • Finance
    • Folly Finds
    • Food
    • Health
    • Law
    • Lifestyle
    • Politics
    • Religion
    • Science
    • Sports
    • Tech
    • U.S.
    • World
  • Useful Links
    • About
    • Contact Us
    • Accessibility
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
Have an existing account? Sign In
Follow US
© 2025 the Folly Times News Network. All Rights Reserved, All Wrongs Released.
Sports

Trump ‘Declassified’ Golf Scorecard, Says Losers ‘Just Don’t Golf at My Level’

Last updated: Mon, August 4, 2025 9:08 AM CT
By The Folly Times
2 Min Read
Trump holding golf club and scorecard at Bedminster championship
Trump’s “winning” golf score was declassified on the spot, written in Sharpie, and immediately questioned by every retired dentist in Florida
Share article:

NEED TO KNOW

  • Trump says his golf score is a matter of national security, then declassifies it by yelling “69!”
  • White House Instagram flooded with skepticism, including one comment reading, “You wrote this in Sharpie.”
  • Trump claims Bedminster tournament was “more legitimate than the Georgia election.”

Standing next to a handwritten scoreboard that somehow ranked him above multiple senior citizens who can actually walk 18 holes, President Donald Trump announced that his tournament victory had been “instantly declassified by mouth.”

“The deep state tried to say I shot a 93,” Trump told onlookers. “But I shot a perfect 69. Everyone saw it. Even Jesus. It was on Easter.”

Critics noted that his “official” scorecard appeared to be printed on a Chili’s kids’ menu with names hastily whited out. In response, Trump threatened to bomb the PGA and suggested Jack Nicklaus once cried watching him chip.

“He plays a higher-level golf,” said former HUD secretary and part-time caddie Ben Carson. “It’s metaphysical. He doesn’t even need to swing.”

When asked why the White House posted the score to Instagram, Trump shrugged. “We’re at war with windmills, and people need to see I’m winning somewhere.”

Share article:
TAGGED:Donald TrumpgolfScorecardWhite House

Sign Up For Daily Newsletter

Keep up! Get the latest breaking not news delivered straight to your inbox.
By signing up, you agree to our Terms of Use and acknowledge the data practices in our Privacy Policy. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Recent Stories

Government Shutdown Halts SNAP, But Trump Finds Spare Change for Argentina

Government Shutdown Halts SNAP, But Trump Finds Spare Change for Argentina

Man Proves Strangers Wrong Online, Forgets to Pick Up Kids from School

Man Proves Strangers Wrong Online, Forgets to Pick Up Kids from School

UNC Falls Inches Short Again, Belichick Blames It on ‘Lack of Cheating Infrastructure’

UNC Falls Inches Short Again, Belichick Blames It on ‘Lack of Cheating Infrastructure’

Trump Jr’s Drone Empire Takes Off While Ethics Crash

Trump Jr’s Drone Empire Takes Off While Ethics Crash

White House Officially Declares Maple Syrup a Threat to U.S. Sovereignty

White House Officially Declares Maple Syrup a Threat to U.S. Sovereignty

Deals for People Who Think Jeff Bezos Is Watching Them Through the Microwave

Deals for People Who Think Jeff Bezos Is Watching Them Through the Microwave

The “You’re Officially Old Now” Starter Pack

The “You’re Officially Old Now” Starter Pack

You Might Also Like

Angel Reese during a Chicago Sky game
Sports

Chicago Confirms Sky Is Not Falling — Angel Reese Now Playing All Five Positions

2 Min Read
Politics

Former President Trump Channels Supreme Court Expertise: “I Packed the Court Just for This!”

4 Min Read
Timeline of Coca-Cola bottles from 1899 to 1957
Business

Coca-Cola to Release ‘Founders Formula’ After Trump Suggests Original Recipe Was “Peak Capitalism”

2 Min Read
IRS building exterior with budget cuts protest signage
Law

IRS to Audit ‘Just the Poors and Regular Liars’ After Trump Budget Cuts Hit Rich-Guy Squad

3 Min Read
Show More
The Folly Times

The Folly Times is your trusted source for news that probably shouldn’t be trusted. We specialize in absurd headlines, political mockery, and stories you didn’t know you didn’t need. Our reporters dig deep, mostly into lunch buffets, to bring you the kind of journalism that makes you laugh, think, and occasionally question humanity.

Trending Topics
  • Donald Trump
  • Election
  • Joe Biden
  • Elon Musk
  • MAGA
  • Kamala Harris
  • White House
Popular Sections
  • Politics
  • U.S.
  • World
  • Lifestyle
  • Finance
  •  The Latest
Useful Links
  • About The Folly Times
  • Contact Us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
© 2025 The Folly Times News Network | All Rights Reserved, All Wrongs Released.
Hello!

Sign in to your account

Username or Email Address
Password

Lost your password?