NEED TO KNOW
- Trump calls US Open flag display “very weak, very small, like Jeb.”
- Insists on a version “the size of Arthur Ashe Stadium itself.”
- USTA staff reportedly Googling “world’s largest tarp suppliers.”
NEW YORK — President Donald Trump upstaged the U.S. Open men’s final by demanding that tournament officials “get a bigger flag, a real flag, a Trump-sized flag” after the Stars and Stripes were unfurled across the court during the anthem. He complained the existing display “looked like something you’d hang outside a Holiday Inn.”
Eyewitnesses said Trump muttered about “patriotic disrespect” as the crowd applauded the display. “It should cover the whole stadium, maybe the entire borough of Queens,” he told his aides. “China has big flags. Russia has big flags. America needs the biggest flag. Huge.”
A Star-Spangled Demolition
The U.S. Tennis Association reportedly considered his suggestion, but staff expressed concerns about the flag potentially collapsing the roof. “It would literally suffocate everyone in attendance,” one official whispered, “which may have been the plan.”
Trump allies defended the request, saying “a bigger flag equals more freedom,” while critics mocked the idea as “the world’s most expensive beach towel.” Sources suggested Rolex, already hosting Trump in their suite, may be asked to sponsor the mega-flag as a gesture of goodwill.
From Rally Staples to Tennis Courts
Fans noted Trump’s history of using oversized props. “At his rallies, the flags are so big they double as wind turbines he can then complain about,” said one attendee. “Now he wants the U.S. Open turned into a Yankee Candle commercial.”
The USTA declined to comment, but vendors at Arthur Ashe Stadium confirmed they had received a last-minute order for “a vat of gold fringe.”
If the flag isn’t big enough to block out the sun, is it even America?
Brock Tindle, Patriotic Fabrics LLC
