NEED TO KNOW
Historic Ruling Includes “Crimson Exception”
The U.S. Supreme Court issued a major decision on Tuesday, declaring that the Alabama Crimson Tide must be included in the College Football Playoff every season “regardless of record or strength of schedule.” Justice Alito wrote the majority opinion and said the Court simply “cannot ignore Alabama’s legacy, tradition, or television ratings.” As a result, the playoff field will now include Alabama automatically, even if the team finishes 3–9.
Furthermore, the opinion states that the Founding Fathers “absolutely would have respected Nick Saban’s process.” Chief Justice Roberts added a concurring note explaining that “America believes in institutions, and Alabama football is our strongest remaining one.”
Arguments Included Chart of “Vibes” and Tailgate Photos
During oral arguments, Justice Gorsuch interrupted three times to ask if “beating Tennessee by 30” counts as a legal precedent. At one point, Justice Barrett held up a foam finger and yelled “Roll Tide” after a particularly strong argument from Alabama’s attorney. Meanwhile, Justice Jackson tried to introduce a “strength of schedule” chart, but Justice Thomas refused to look at it. Instead, he said, “That sounds like loser talk.”
Additionally, ESPN submitted a friend-of-the-court brief claiming that leaving Alabama out of the playoff “harms national morale.” The Court agreed and cited “public happiness” as a compelling government interest.
Dissenters Literally Beg for Mercy
In a sharp dissent, Justice Sotomayor wrote, “This is not law. This is a fan forum.” Justice Kagan asked, “Do they even need to play games now, or can Justice Alito just pick the winner in his chambers?” She finished her dissent with, “Why does Clarence have face paint on RIGHT NOW?”
Finally, the Court’s ruling leaves the door open for Georgia to request “permanent number two” status. Legal experts expect that case to reach the Court in time for next season, especially if Justice Gorsuch brings his tailgate grill back to the steps of the courthouse.
If the Founders watched film, they would have put Alabama in the playoff too
Trent Hatfield, College Football Constitutional Scholar
