NEED TO KNOW
- Indiana Fever guard Sophie Cunningham will miss the rest of the season with a torn MCL.
- Cunningham suggests the injury may have been caused by weeks of sudden “dildo evasive maneuvers.”
- Fans have thrown at least three green sex toys onto the court during WNBA games in recent weeks.
Season Ends With Unexpected Twist
Indiana Fever guard Sophie Cunningham will spend the rest of the year on the sideline. Her torn MCL came at a moment when she was playing her best basketball of the season. During a press conference, she surprised reporters by blaming part of the injury on an unusual trend at WNBA arenas.
“I love our fans,” Cunningham said, “but we can’t keep dodging flying sex toys. After three games of random rubber launches, my knee finally said ‘no thanks.’” She pointed out that her body is trained for fast breaks, not random green projectiles. That kind of motion, she argued, can wear a person down.
Rise of the Rubber Projectile Era
Fever head coach Christie Sides agreed that no training plan includes dildo evasion drills. Coaches cover shooting, defense and inbounds plays. They rarely cover “duck and sidestep when someone hurls plastic at your head.” Even the team trainer admitted they may need to add new safety protocols next season.
The team issued a public request this week. They asked fans to please switch to soft foam items if they insist on throwing anything. One fan suggested a nerf-style design with “a built-in whistle, for safety and flair.” Another said they would continue throwing items “but only at halftime.”
Cunningham hopes to recover fully and return next season. She signed off with one last message for the crowd: “Seriously. Please. No more surprise rubber.”
If they absolutely have to throw stuff, can we at least go back to T-shirts?
Sophie Cunningham, Indiana Fever
