NEED TO KNOW
- A green dildo was hurled onto the field during the Browns game
- Officials refused to measure it for a first down, citing “sanity”
- Fans are blaming Caitlin Clark for starting the trend at WNBA games
CLEVELAND — NFL fans were treated to more than tackles and turnovers on Sunday when a bright green dildo landed near the 30-yard line during the Browns game. The object’s trajectory suggested it had as much hang time as a punt, drawing immediate roars from the crowd and confusion from the broadcast booth.
Referees quickly gathered around the foreign object but refused to pick it up, let alone measure it for a first down. “Football is a game of inches,” one ref admitted, “but there are limits to what I’ll use as a yardstick.” The item was eventually kicked toward the sideline by a ball boy wearing gloves, a move some fans argued should have counted as intentional grounding.
Clark’s Name Dragged In
Almost immediately, online chatter blamed WNBA superstar Caitlin Clark, who has already been linked to a spate of similar incidents in her league. Clark issued a statement denying involvement, noting she “does not endorse” dildo tossing in any professional setting. Her team, however, admitted they are “flattered” that football fans are copying WNBA game-day traditions.
Social media users were less forgiving. “This is what happens when you let women’s basketball get too popular,” one post read, while another accused Clark of “ruining the sanctity of football, one rubber projectile at a time.”
A Growing Trend
Officials worry the trend could spread beyond basketball and football. “We’re begging people: no UFC, no tennis, and definitely no golf,” said one league spokesperson. “Imagine Rory McIlroy lining up a putt and suddenly a neon-green distraction bounces past him. We’ll never recover.”
Still, for many fans, the incident added entertainment value. Browns supporters in particular were grateful. “Honestly, it was the most exciting offensive play of the night,” said one season-ticket holder.
It wasn’t regulation equipment, but it had better field position than the Browns offense.
Terry McNulty, American Football Object Safety Board
