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Sports

Bears Promise They’ll Fix Caleb Williams Right After They Finish Ruining Him

Bears leadership swears Caleb Williams will thrive… once they finish grinding his career into dust, just like every quarterback before him.

Last updated: Sat, September 20, 2025 1:07 PM CT
By The Folly Times
3 Min Read
Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams tackled by Detroit Lions defender during NFL game.
Bears assure fans this hit is part of Caleb’s “growth plan” toward eventual benching.

NEED TO KNOW

  • Chicago Bears reassure fans they’re “totally committed” to Caleb Williams’ success.
  • Step one of the plan: break him mentally and physically, just like all past QBs.
  • Step two: publicly insist this time will be different until Week 10 benching.

CHICAGO — The Bears front office reassured fans that Caleb Williams is “in good hands,” although those hands belong to the same franchise that destroyed a dozen quarterbacks before him. Officials explained the strategy clearly: tear down his confidence, wear out his body, then promise to rebuild him later. It is the Chicago way.

The Bears QB Curse Continues

Williams entered the league as a number one pick with sky-high expectations. Now, two weeks into the season, he already looks like the next victim of the curse. Coaches keep overloading him with reads, dialing up impossible plays, and letting defenders meet him in the backfield. According to staff, this process is called “development.” Fans call it déjà vu.

Coaches Defend Their Strategy

Head coach Ben Johnson insists progress is being made. “His eyes are improving,” Johnson said, “although sometimes they’re rolling back after another sack.” He stressed that patience is key, even if the patience runs out by Halloween. History shows Chicago does not nurture quarterbacks. It eats them, one busted pocket at a time.

Fans Already Preparing for Next QB

Supporters in Chicago know the pattern well. First comes the hype. Then come the hits. Finally, the heartbreak and the clearance rack jerseys. One fan summed it up: “By Thanksgiving he’ll be staring into space. By Christmas we’ll be chanting for the backup. And by spring, the team will already be teasing the next savior.”

Executives denied any regrets about paying $65 million for Johnson to mentor Williams. “Regrets?” one laughed. “We don’t regret. We recycle. In three years we’ll be here again, breaking in another rookie. Caleb’s just the newest offering to the Soldier Field gods.”

We don’t develop quarterbacks, we just collect their skeletons for the museum gift shop

Janet Mullins, Bears Marketing Dept.
TAGGED:Ben JohnsonCaleb WilliamsChicago BearsNFL

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