NEED TO KNOW
- Angel Reese is now officially listed as forward, center, point guard, backup coach, and emotional support mascot
- Chicago Sky confirms team operations now “mostly Angel and vibes”
- WNBA to review legality of one-player basketball systems after Reese attempts to inbound to herself
After another dominant double-double performance in a 91–78 loss, the Chicago Sky announced a major restructuring: Angel Reese will now play all five positions, and possibly a sixth if the scoreboard breaks again.
“Angel’s carrying the rebounding, scoring, morale, and most of the folding chairs,” said Head Coach Tyler Marsh. “It just makes sense to let her do the rest.” The decision comes after Reese logged 22 points, 10 rebounds, and approximately 63% of all functional basketball on the court.
The Sky clarified that this move is not a surrender but a strategy. “The Sky is not falling,” said the team in a postgame statement, “we’re just orbiting around Angel now.” Reese’s new roles reportedly include inbounding to herself, refereeing friendly fire, and designing halftime giveaways.
WNBA officials have expressed concern, citing a rule that may prohibit one person from literally doing everything. “We’ll check the bylaws,” said a spokesperson, “but we don’t think the MVP trophy can double as a payroll form.”
Quote of the moment
If they let me drive the team bus I can make the next tipoff, too
Angel Reese
