Salt Lake City, UT – In a shocking revelation, an IRS tax fraud whistle blower who exposed the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints wrongdoing was found to have done so simply because he really wanted a caffeinated Coca Cola.
According to sources, the whistle blower had been working at the church when they discovered evidence of tax fraud amoung other accounting irregularities. However, rather than report the wrongdoing out of a sense of justice, the whistle blower’s sole motivation was apparently a craving for a refreshing soda.
“It’s really quite disturbing,” said one anonymous source close to the investigation. “This person had access to all sorts of information about illegal activity within the church, and yet their main concern was drinking a Coca Coke. It’s hard to take their actions seriously when you consider the motivation behind them.”
Despite this revelation, the IRS has said that it will still pursue charges against the church in question, as the evidence of tax fraud appears to be legitimate, by levying a hefty fine.
“We take allegations of tax fraud very seriously, regardless of the motivations behind them,” said an IRS spokesperson. “However, we are considering whether this whistle blower’s actions constitute fraud in and of themselves, as they appear to have been driven solely by a desire for a delicious sugary beverage.”
The whistle blower, for their part, has denied that their actions were motivated by anything other than a life long yearning for Coca Cola.
“I’ve always wanted to drink Coke,” they said in a statement. “When I saw the evidence of tax fraud within the church, I knew I had to act – not because I wanted to expose wrongdoing, but because I wanted to earn an opportunity to drink soda. I hope the IRS can understand where I’m coming from.”
As of press time, it is unclear whether the whistle blower will face any legal repercussions for their actions. However, experts agree that the incident serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of mixing religious institutions and caffeinated carbonated beverages.
