Let’s be honest: most presidential rankings are about as exciting as a Millard Fillmore-themed crossword. Historians weigh policy impact, economic indicators, and some nonsense called “context.” Boo. We, however, have chosen to rank the presidents using the only metrics that matter in a post-Trump, mid-TikTok republic: raw chaos energy, memeability, hairstyle dominance, and whether they’d win in a fistfight against a moderately angry raccoon.
This is not your AP U.S. History list. This is the power ranking America deserves—bold, ridiculous, and 87% facial hair analysis. From top-hatted emancipation GOATs to men who were taken down by fruit, these are the most legendary (and legendarily bizarre) leaders in American history. Strap in, salute something, and prepare to scream “WHAT?!” at least three times before hitting No. 1.
No. 45: James A. Garfield (1881)
Tenure: Six months of bearded brilliance, cut short by a bullet.
Stats: 0.5 years in office, 100% epic beard, 1 tragic assassination.
Legendary Status: Garfield was a Latin-speaking brainiac who could’ve rewritten the Constitution in iambic pentameter, but a disgruntled office-seeker and some unsanitized doctor fingers ended his run faster than a Netflix cancellation. His beard was a majestic freedom generator, and he probably debated philosophy with his assassin before going out like a tragic Greek hero.
No. 44: John Tyler (1841–1845)
Tenure: Stepped up after Harrison’s 31-day flop, annexed Texas like a boss.
Stats: 1 term, 15 kids, 1000% “His Accidency” swagger.
Legendary Status: Tyler stumbled into the presidency after WHH’s cherry-induced demise and proceeded to annex Texas like he was claiming a cosmic parking spot. Fathered 15 kids, basically starting his own militia. His nickname “His Accidency” is the ultimate presidential roast, and he wore it like a badge of chaotic honor.
No. 43: Joe Biden (2021–2025)
Tenure: Navigated post-Trump chaos, pushed infrastructure, told Corn Pop stories.
Stats: 1 term, 50 years in politics, 99% aviator sunglasses energy.
Legendary Status: Grandpa Joe rolled in with aviators and a résumé longer than a CVS receipt, passing infrastructure bills like a policy Santa Claus. Afghanistan exit was messier than a toddler’s birthday cake, but he probably challenged Putin to a push-up contest while eating ice cream. His Corn Pop stories are the chaotic campfire tales America didn’t know it needed.
No. 42: Donald Trump (2017–2021, 2025–present)
Tenure: Reality TV takeover, tweetstorm tyranny, Space Force architect.
Stats: 2 non-consecutive terms, 280 characters per tweet, 6 bankruptcies survived.
Legendary Status: Trump turned the White House into The Apprentice: D.C. Edition, firing off tweets like a verbal flamethrower. Built a wall (sorta), survived two impeachments, and probably sold golden sneakers to fund Space Force. His hair defies physics, and his brand is so big it could eclipse the sun.
No. 41: George H.W. Bush (1989–1993)
Tenure: Gulf War general, CIA spymaster, vomit-on-PM legend.
Stats: 1 term, 1 iconic barf, 100% preppy dad energy.
Legendary Status: Bush Sr. ran the CIA, then ran Desert Storm like a Tom Clancy protagonist on steroids. Vomiting on a Japanese PM was peak chaotic diplomacy, and his aviators were cooler than Top Gun. Lost to Clinton because he forgot how to scan groceries, but his spy-dad vibe was untouchable.
No. 40: Jimmy Carter (1977–1981)
Tenure: Peanut farmer turned humanitarian superhero.
Stats: 1 term, 100% kindness rating, 1 Iran hostage crisis fumble.
Legendary Status: Carter was the ultimate nice-guy president who got crushed by inflation and Iran. Post-presidency, he built houses for Habitat for Humanity like a carpenter Avenger. His term was like a sad country ballad, but his heart was purer than a golden retriever’s.
No. 39: Gerald Ford (1974–1977)
Tenure: Stepped in post-Nixon, pardoned him, tripped a lot.
Stats: 1 unelected term, 2 assassination attempts dodged, 10/10 jock vibes.
Legendary Status: Ford tripped into the presidency after Nixon’s helicopter exit, pardoned him, and then literally tripped down stairs. His vibe was “nice jock, bad timing,” like a quarterback benched during the Super Bowl. He probably dodged dodgeballs from angry voters in his sleep.
No. 38: Richard Nixon (1969–1974)
Tenure: Opened China, bugged his own office, resigned in style.
Stats: 1.5 terms, 1 Watergate scandal, 100% paranoia points.
Legendary Status: Nixon was a geopolitical genius who opened China but also wiretapped his own office like a conspiracy theorist with a tinfoil hat. Watergate was a plot twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t dream up. He peaced out in a helicopter like a Bond villain with a five-o’clock shadow.
No. 37: Herbert Hoover (1929–1933)
Tenure: Crashed into the Great Depression, built a dam.
Stats: 1 term, 1 economic collapse, 1 Hoover Dam flex.
Legendary Status: Hoover got yeeted into the Great Depression and tried to fix it with a paperclip and some optimism. His name became synonymous with shantytowns, which is the ultimate anti-glow-up. Still, the Hoover Dam is a concrete monument to his “at least I tried” energy.
No. 36: Warren G. Harding (1921–1923)
Tenure: Teapot Dome scandals, died before the fallout.
Stats: 1 partial term, 10/10 poker game, 0% scandal avoidance.
Legendary Status: Harding’s administration was shadier than a speakeasy in a blackout. Teapot Dome was the Enron of the 1920s, and he played poker with his cronies while the nation burned. Died before the hammer dropped, probably while bluffing his way through a royal flush.
No. 35: Andrew Johnson (1865–1869)
Tenure: Botched Reconstruction, got impeached, kept sewing.
Stats: 1 unelected term, 1 impeachment, 100% tailor skills.
Legendary Status: Johnson stumbled into office after Lincoln’s death, fumbled Reconstruction like a drunk juggler, and got impeached for being a hot mess. Still, he probably stitched his own suits with the precision of a Civil War sniper. His presidency was a chaotic stitch-up job.
No. 34: James Buchanan (1857–1861)
Tenure: Watched the Union crumble, wore a bowtie.
Stats: 1 term, 0 leadership points, 10/10 bachelor vibes.
Legendary Status: Buchanan sat back and watched the Union implode like a guy eating popcorn during an alien invasion. His inaction was so epic it practically handed Lincoln a Civil War welcome mat. His bowtie was the only thing keeping his legacy from total collapse.
No. 33: Franklin Pierce (1853–1857)
Tenure: Signed Kansas-Nebraska Act, sparked Civil War vibes.
Stats: 1 term, 1 tragic backstory, 10/10 brooding hair.
Legendary Status: Pierce’s life was a soap opera—lost his kid, presidency was a dumpster fire, and the Kansas-Nebraska Act lit the fuse for the Civil War. His hair was so flawless it could’ve starred in a rom-com, but his leadership was a gothic tragedy.
No. 32: Millard Fillmore (1850–1853)
Tenure: Took over after Taylor’s cherry fiasco, pushed Compromise of 1850.
Stats: 1 unelected term, 1 weird name, 50% Union-saving effort.
Legendary Status: Fillmore tripped into the presidency after Taylor’s fruit-based demise and pushed the Compromise of 1850 like a guy selling expired yogurt at a discount. His name sounds like a knockoff pastry, but he kept the Union from exploding (barely).
No. 31: Zachary Taylor (1849–1850)
Tenure: War hero, died from bad cherries.
Stats: 1.3 years in office, 1 fatal snack, 100% rough-and-ready vibes.
Legendary Status: Old Rough and Ready was a war hero who stormed the presidency, then got taken out by some sketchy cherries after 16 months. His term was like a movie trailer that hyped a blockbuster but never got released. Still, he’d wrestle a bear for America.
No. 30: Martin Van Buren (1837–1841)
Tenure: Tanked by Panic of 1837, rocked epic sideburns.
Stats: 1 term, 1 economic crash, 1000% muttonchop swagger.
Legendary Status: Van Buren’s sideburns were so majestic they could block a solar eclipse, but the Panic of 1837 sank his presidency like a bad stock tip. Tried to fix the economy, got yeeted out of office. Those whiskers, though? A national landmark.
No. 29: William Henry Harrison (1841)
Tenure: Gave a two-hour speech, died in 31 days.
Stats: 0.08 years in office, 1 fatal speech, 100% go-hard energy.
Legendary Status: WHH delivered a two-hour inauguration speech in a blizzard, caught pneumonia, and checked out after 31 days. Set the record for shortest presidency with the intensity of a rockstar burning out on stage. His vibe was “go big, die quick.”
No. 28: Benjamin Harrison (1889–1893)
Tenure: Passed Sherman Antitrust Act, got lost in Cleveland’s shadow.
Stats: 1 term, 1 trust-busting law, 10/10 beard game.
Legendary Status: Harrison was like Grover Cleveland’s less cool cousin, but he passed the Sherman Antitrust Act like a corporate dragon slayer. His beard was a national treasure, but his presidency was like a Netflix show you forget to finish.
No. 27: Rutherford B. Hayes (1877–1881)
Tenure: Ended Reconstruction, tried to clean up corruption.
Stats: 1 term, 1 controversial election, 100% beard power.
Legendary Status: Hayes ended Reconstruction (mixed bag alert) and fought corruption while sporting a beard that could summon bald eagles. Probably arm-wrestled moonshiners in the White House basement. His legacy is like a solid B+ effort.
No. 26: Chester A. Arthur (1881–1885)
Tenure: Reformed civil service, rocked muttonchop
Stats: 1 unelected term, 100% facial hair flex, 1 surprise reform arc.
Legendary Status: Chester’s sideburns could eclipse the moon, and he shocked everyone by reforming the corrupt government. Went from party hack to civil service champ faster than you can say “glorious muttonchops.” His vibe was pure facial-hair swagger.
No. 25: John Quincy Adams (1825–1829)
Tenure: Negotiated treaties, roasted slavery in Congress later.
Stats: 1 term, 1 epic diary, 100% nerdy grit.
Legendary Status: JQA was a diplomatic genius who negotiated treaties like a chess grandmaster. Lost re-election, then said “screw it” and became a congressman to dunk on slavery. His diary was probably spicier than a tabloid tell-all.
No. 24: Grover Cleveland (1885–1889, 1893–1897)
Tenure: First non-consecutive two-termer, vetoed everything.
Stats: 2 non-consecutive terms, 414 vetoes, 100% mustache authority.
Legendary Status: Grover pulled off the ultimate political boomerang with non-consecutive terms, vetoing bills like he was swatting flies at a picnic. His mustache was so epic it could star in its own Western. The man was a veto-dropping tank.
No. 23: William McKinley (1897–1901)
Tenure: Annexed Hawaii, went gold standard, got assassinated.
Stats: 1 term, 1 imperialist spree, 1 tragic exit.
Legendary Status: McKinley snatched Hawaii and the Philippines like he was collecting rare Pokémon cards. Put the U.S. on the gold standard, probably with a solid gold monocle. Got assassinated, but his imperialist trophy case still shines.
No. 22: Calvin Coolidge (1923–1929)
Tenure: Kept economy humming, stayed silent.
Stats: 1.5 terms, 0 words spoken, 100% Roaring Twenties vibes.
Legendary Status: Silent Cal spoke less than a mute monk but kept the economy roaring like a V8 engine. His “leave me alone, I’m napping” vibe was iconic, and he secretly ran the Twenties like a Wall Street ninja.
No. 21: James K. Polk (1845–1849)
Tenure: Snagged half of Mexico, peaced out after one term.
Stats: 1 term, 50% U.S. landmass acquired, 100% manifest destiny energy.
Legendary Status: Polk was the overachiever who grabbed half of Mexico like it was a Black Friday deal on a continent. Fulfilled manifest destiny, then mic-dropped his way out after one term. The man was a geopolitical speedrunner.
No. 20: George W. Bush (2001–2009)
Tenure: Led post-9/11, invaded Iraq, painted later.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 “Mission Accomplished” banner, 10/10 folksy charm.
Legendary Status: Dubya rode into 9/11 like a Texas avenger, then invaded Iraq with “Mission Accomplished” energy (big oops). His mispronunciations and folksy charm made him the president you’d grab a burger with, but his foreign policy was a plot twist nobody expected.
No. 19: Lyndon B. Johnson (1963–1969)
Tenure: Passed Civil Rights Act, fumbled Vietnam.
Stats: 1.5 terms, 1 landmark civil rights law, 1 Vietnam quagmire.
Legendary Status: LBJ steamrolled the Civil Rights Act through Congress like a Texas-sized bulldozer, then got stuck in the Vietnam mud. His Great Society was like handing out free tacos to the nation, and he probably intimidated senators in his cowboy hat.
No. 18: James Monroe (1817–1825)
Tenure: Dropped Monroe Doctrine, expanded U.S. territory.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 iconic doctrine, 100% Risk board game energy.
Legendary Status: Monroe told Europe “hands off the Americas!” with a doctrine that was basically a geopolitical diss track. Expanded the U.S. like he was cheating at Risk. Low-key baller with a high-key legacy.
No. 17: Barack Obama (2009–2017)
Tenure: Passed Obamacare, took out Bin Laden, swagged out.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 healthcare overhaul, 10/10 jump shot.
Legendary Status: Obama rolled in with Hope posters and a jump shot smoother than silk. Obamacare was his slam dunk, and he took out Bin Laden while probably sinking a three-pointer in the Situation Room. His mic drops were seismic, and his cool-dad jean vibe was unmatched.
No. 16: Bill Clinton (1993–2001)
Tenure: Balanced budget, survived impeachment, played sax.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 Lewinsky scandal, 100% charisma points.
Legendary Status: Bubba played the sax on Arsenio like a rockstar, balanced the budget, and dodged impeachment like Neo dodging bullets. His “I feel your pain” grin could charm a glacier into melting. The man was a walking charisma bomb.
No. 15: Ulysses S. Grant (1869–1877)
Tenure: Crushed Confederacy, led shady administration.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 Civil War victory, 50% scandal tolerance.
Legendary Status: Grant steamrolled the Confederacy like a Civil War Terminator, then ran a presidency shadier than a speakeasy. His beard was a 10/10 freedom generator, and he probably sipped bourbon with Lincoln’s ghost.
No. 14: William Howard Taft (1909–1913)
Tenure: Busted trusts, got stuck in a bathtub (maybe).
Stats: 1 term, 1 Supreme Court gig, 100% mustache power.
Legendary Status: Taft was a human tank who (allegedly) got stuck in a bathtub but still crushed trusts like soda cans. Became Supreme Court Justice later, proving he could yeet gavels like a boss. His mustache was a national monument.
No. 13: John Adams (1797–1801)
Tenure: Kept U.S. out of France war, sassed Jefferson.
Stats: 1 term, 1 Alien and Sedition Acts flop, 100% grumpy uncle vibes.
Legendary Status: Adams was the cranky uncle of the Revolution, arguing for independence while everyone else was sipping tea. Kept the U.S. out of a dumb war with France and probably roasted Jefferson in epic letter battles. His wig was weak, but his sass was undefeated.
No. 12: Woodrow Wilson (1913–1921)
Tenure: Led through WWI, pushed League of Nations.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 world war, 1 failed globalist dream.
Legendary Status: Wilson tried to save the world with his 14 Points and League of Nations, but it flopped harder than a bad superhero reboot. Led America through WWI while probably grading papers in the Oval Office. His glasses screamed “I’m smarter than you.”
No. 11: Andrew Jackson (1829–1837)
Tenure: Fought banks, dueled everyone, Trail of Tears tragedy.
Stats: 2 terms, 100 duels won, 1 cussing parrot.
Legendary Status: Old Hickory was a wild card who’d duel you at dawn, burn down a bank, and win. Trail of Tears was a massive stain, but his “fight me” energy was unmatched. Survived assassination attempts like he was immortal, and his pet parrot got kicked out of his funeral for cussing.
No. 10: James Madison (1809–1817)
Tenure: Wrote Constitution, survived War of 1812.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 Bill of Rights, 5’4” of pure brainpower.
Legendary Status: Madison was a pint-sized genius who wrote the Constitution while doing mental backflips. Fathered the Bill of Rights and probably arm-wrestled Jefferson for “Smartest Founder” bragging rights. His wife Dolley threw White House ragers that invented American party culture.
No. 9: Harry S. Truman (1945–1953)
Tenure: Ended WWII, rebuilt Europe, dropped the mic.
Stats: 1.5 terms, 2 atomic bombs, 1 Marshall Plan.
Legendary Status: Truman ended WWII by dropping the ultimate mic (and bombs) on Japan, then rebuilt Europe with the Marshall Plan like a global handyman. “The buck stops here” meant he took responsibility like a Missouri superhero. His grit was a surprise uppercut.
No. 8: Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953–1961)
Tenure: Built highways, crushed Nazis, golfed hard.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 interstate system, 100% five-star general swagger.
Legendary Status: Ike stormed Normandy, dropkicked Nazis, and then built the interstate system like he was playing SimCity on god mode. His golf game could sink a putt from Berlin, and he warned us about the military-industrial complex while bench-pressing a tank.
No. 7: Ronald Reagan (1981–1989)
Tenure: Ended Cold War vibes, loved jellybeans.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 Berlin Wall speech, 100% cowboy charisma.
Legendary Status: Reagan rode into the Cold War on a rhinestone stallion, told the Soviets to “tear down this wall,” and they listened because his hair gel was pure charisma. Star Wars defense program? Dude was ready to laser-blast commies from orbit. Also, jellybeans were his superpower.
No. 6: John F. Kennedy (1961–1963)
Tenure: Stared down Soviets, aimed for the moon.
Stats: 1 partial term, 1 Cuban Missile Crisis win, 10/10 hair game.
Legendary Status: JFK was smoother than a moonlit convertible ride, staring down the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis like he was playing galactic poker. Moon landing? He yeeted astronauts into space with a wink. His hair was a national treasure, and his charisma could charm a UFO.
No. 5: Thomas Jefferson (1801–1809)
Tenure: Wrote Declaration, doubled U.S. size.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 Louisiana Purchase, 1 mac-and-cheese invention.
Legendary Status: TJ penned the Declaration of Independence while shredding a keytar solo and sipping espresso. Snagged the Louisiana Purchase like it was a Black Friday deal on a continent. Monticello was his Batcave, where he invented democracy, mac and cheese, and probably time travel.
No. 4: Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933–1945)
Tenure: Crushed Depression, WWII, four terms.
Stats: 4 terms, 1 New Deal, 100% fireside chat swagger.
Legendary Status: FDR rolled through the Great Depression and WWII in a chrome wheelchair, dropping New Deal bangers and roasting Hitler with fireside chats that invented Wi-Fi. Four terms? He was the Beyoncé of the White House. Polio couldn’t stop him; he did wheelies while passing Social Security.
No. 3: Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909)
Tenure: Charged San Juan Hill, built Panama Canal, saved nature.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 big stick, 1000% grizzly bear energy.
Legendary Status: Teddy was a human monster truck who charged up San Juan Hill on a flaming grizzly, dug the Panama Canal with a spoon, and saved national parks by staring down forests until they saluted. His “big stick” was a redwood, and he once arm-wrestled a tornado for fun.
No. 2: George Washington (1789–1797)
Tenure: Birthed America, crossed Delaware, said no to kinghood.
Stats: 2 terms, 1 revolution won, 100% wooden teeth swagger.
Legendary Status: GW didn’t just birth America; he karate-chopped it out of a bald eagle’s egg. Yeeted a cherry orchard into Narnia, surfed the Delaware on a rocket-powered longboard, and turned down being king like a boss. His wooden teeth could chew vibranium, and his wig probably hid a laser cannon.
No. 1: Abraham Lincoln (1861–1865)
Tenure: Saved Union, freed slaves, rocked a top hat, loved theater until…
Stats: 1 term, 1 Emancipation Proclamation, 1000% GOAT status.
Legendary Status: Abe dropkicked the Confederacy into another dimension while scribbling the Emancipation Proclamation on a cosmic napkin. His beard was a black hole of freedom, his top hat a 5G tower for liberty. Vampire hunter? Nah, he yeeted Nosferatu into the sun. The GOAT who could bench-press the Declaration and still invent the penny.
Look, America has had some real icons in charge, and also some guys who were just there, like backup drummers in a ska band. We’ve had vampire hunters, saxophone players, accidental annexers, and one guy who probably thought the Panama Canal was a water slide.
In the end, presidential greatness isn’t just about policy or leadership. It’s about vibes. Beard length. Drama. Whether they could survive an 8-season Netflix series. And based on that criteria, Lincoln remains untouchable. Unless Washington shows up riding a bald eagle with dual Constitution scrolls in hand. In which case, it’s a tie.