NEED TO KNOW
- Tucker Carlson accuses Fox News of brainwashing seniors, while still cashing residual checks
- Claims he learned media ethics from Putin during a shirtless equestrian retreat in Siberia
- Calls Fox “state media with denture cream ads,” insists RT was “less manipulative”
Tucker Carlson Turns on Fox News, Forgets He Was Once Its Crypt Keeper
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson shocked absolutely no one this week by labeling his old employer a “Propaganda network that manipulates the elderly.” The comments came during a podcast recorded while Carlson was reportedly still wearing thermal underwear from a recent horseback getaway with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
“They run segments engineered to scare people who still write checks at the grocery store,” Carlson said. “And I would know — I wrote half of them.”
Shirtless Diplomacy and Siberian Media Studies
Carlson credited his media awakening to a “transformative weekend” with Putin that included horseback rides, deep sauna sessions, and spirited discussions about press freedom between gulps of beet kvass.
“Vlad told me, ‘In Russia, state TV serves the state. In America, you do the same, but with more gold leaf and less self-awareness.’ That really spoke to me,” Carlson said, adjusting his U.S.S.R.-branded belt buckle.
Criticism Echoes, But Reflection Lags
Despite condemning Fox’s tactics, Carlson declined to acknowledge his role in pushing replacement theory, vaccine panic, and 900 consecutive hours of “what even is critical race theory, really?”
“I was just asking questions,” he insisted. “Like, is it propaganda if you raise your eyebrow while doing it?”
Fox Responds With Quiet Laughter and Continued Profits
Fox News declined to issue a formal response but did quietly increase ad buys for gold IRAs, reverse mortgages, and “Miracle Reagan Brain Pills” during commercial breaks on The Five.
Insiders say network execs were unfazed. “Tucker leaving Fox to accuse Fox of doing what Tucker did on Fox is the most Fox thing we’ve ever seen,” said one producer. “We might use it as a segment.”
Quote of the moment
Fox radicalized America’s grandparents and I merely accessorized them
Tucker Carlson
