NEED TO KNOW
- A second federal court has ruled against Donald Trump’s attempt to impose tariffs using emergency powers.
- The court said the International Emergency Economic Powers Act doesn’t cover “vibes-based trade policy.”
- Trump is reportedly furious and asked aides if he could tariff the courts for being “ungrateful.”
Judges to Trump: Trade Law Still Exists
In a blow to Donald Trump’s self-declared title of “Tariff King,” a second federal court has blocked his attempts to slap tariffs on China and other nations using the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA). The ruling followed a lawsuit from two Illinois-based businesses who argued that “emergency” shouldn’t include “being mad about aluminum.”
“This is not how the IEEPA works,” the court noted, “and being irritated with foreign competition doesn’t qualify as a constitutional crisis, even if it ruins brunch.”
Trump: “I Declare Emergency. I Decide It’s an Emergency. That’s the Emergency.”
The Trump administration responded with characteristic subtlety, blasting the ruling as “judicial overreach by robe-wearing globalists.” Trump reportedly told aides he was considering a retaliatory 30% emotional tariff on all federal judges and threatened to start labeling them “imported bench warmers.”
White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt insisted, “The President’s ability to feel economic tension deeply and without evidence is a national asset, and courts need to respect that.”
Illinois Companies: Just Trying to Sell Widgets in Peace
The plaintiffs, Midwestern manufacturers of garden tools and wildly overpriced bulk candy, expressed relief. “We support national security,” one executive said, “but not when it involves spontaneous trade tantrums and blaming Canada for job loss.”
Trump, in turn, accused the companies of being “weak on patriotism” and “probably owned by Trudeau in disguise.”
Quote of the Moment
You call that not an emergency? I had to buy Chinese steel and apologize. That’s the definition of chaos
Donald Trump, reacting to the ruling while gesturing at a very shiny golf club
