NEED TO KNOW
- Trump claims his golf club’s failing Health Inspection is a “deep-state attack on real American food.”
- He unveiled a new health grade system where “T for Trump” outranks A.
- Handwashing rules have been suspended at the club “in honor of 1776.”
Trump Declares ‘T’ Grade After Club Flunks Inspection
Bedminster, NJ – Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster received the lowest health inspection score in Somerset County. The 32 out of 100 rating came with multiple critical violations, including missing hand soap, food storage issues, and the presence of a household microwave. President Trump, however, dismissed the score as “fake food news” orchestrated by a deep-state alliance of vegans, Democrats, and dish soap manufacturers.
“They want to cancel ketchup. And potato salad. Next it’ll be meatloaf,” Trump said while driving a golf cart through the catering area. “It’s not about food safety. It’s about control. They’re obsessed with handwashing. That’s the gateway drug to socialism.”
“T” for Tremendous: Trump’s New Grading Scale
To combat what he called “a biased and corrupt A–F system,” Trump unveiled a new restaurant grading scale. “A is boring. B is for Biden. T is for Trump. And Trump means tremendous,” he declared, holding up a laminated scorecard shaped like a grilled cheese sandwich.
Every Trump property will now display a bold red “T” in its kitchen, which the former president says represents flavor, freedom, and “no FDA nonsense.” According to his press secretary, the system will be offered to “any restaurant that believes America should taste great again.”
Handwashing Suspended to Preserve Founding Values
Among the cited violations, the club lacked soap and paper towels at employee handwashing stations. Trump defended this, claiming the Founding Fathers did not wash their hands and still managed to start a revolution.
“George Washington crossed the Delaware with dirt under his nails,” Trump said. “He didn’t need Purell. He had courage.”
Staff have replaced health warning signs with new plaques reading, “In this kitchen, we trust our guts.” The club’s chef, a former food truck operator named Randy, told reporters, “We’re not unsanitary. We’re just ungovernable.”
Despite warnings from county officials, Trump remains defiant. “Let them try to shut us down,” he said. “This kitchen runs on liberty, not Lysol.”
Quote of the moment
Freedom means never washing your hands if you don’t want to
Donald J. Trump
