What You Need to Know
• U.S. and China agree to temporarily roll back tariffs after months of economic chaos
• Trump touts the move as a historic win — despite initiating the tariff war himself
• MAGA supporters celebrate the rollback as a “masterstroke” of negotiation
A Trade War Ceasefire and a Convenient Memory Wipe
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After months of economic turbulence, empty cargo docks, and a trade war that threatened to bankrupt at least three snack brands, President Trump announced a 90-day rollback of tariffs between the U.S. and China. The move, reached after marathon negotiations in Geneva, will lower American tariffs on Chinese goods from 145% to 30%. China will respond by reducing its own duties on U.S. imports to 10%.
“This is a major breakthrough,” Trump declared. “We’ve brought China to the table. We got the deal. And by deal, I mean we kind of agreed to stop punching each other in the face for a few weeks.”
MAGA Cheers While Forgetting Who Set the House on Fire
MAGA-world erupted in praise. “This proves he’s playing 7D chess,” said one man in a red hat with a QR code linking to a supplements store. “He raised tariffs to make China feel it, and now he’s lowering them to make us feel good again.”
No one appeared concerned that the tariffs being removed were the ones Trump imposed in the first place. “That’s the genius,” another supporter added. “You break it, you fix it, then you take a victory lap. It’s textbook Trump.”
Economic Mayhem, Now With a Reset Button
The initial wave of tariffs had triggered global supply chain snarls, stock market volatility, and a record-setting number of companies Googling “how to relocate to Vietnam.” Now, with the rollback in place, West Coast port officials report a modest return of container ships — though one executive confessed, “It feels like celebrating because your landlord let you un-board your own windows.”
Still, Trump insists it’s a masterclass in leverage. “We went big. We went bold. And now we’re back to where we started, which is technically a full circle of winning.”
Critics Say It’s Like Robbing Your Own House, Then Finding the Couch
Policy experts were less enthusiastic. “Imagine lighting your garage on fire, calling it a strategy, and then earning applause for letting it smolder instead of burn down your house,” said one economist. “That’s what just happened here.”
Regardless, MAGA supporters remain undeterred. “Art of the Deal,” one nodded, completely unbothered by logic or memory.
