Giuliani Goes from Election Litigator to Graphology Critic
After making headlines for legal crusades questioning the validity of recent Elections, Rudy Giuliani is back in the spotlight. This time, he’s not wielding lawsuits but rather wielding claims about Georgia election workers faking their handwriting on ballots. Giuliani, who apparently considers himself an expert in graphology after viewing a few online tutorials, has not only cast doubts on the Georgia election but has now proposed a groundbreaking solution: ditch paper ballots for Etch A Sketches.
A “Foolproof” Solution to Election Integrity?
The former mayor of New York City argues that the Etch A Sketch, a drawing toy invented in the 1960s, provides a foolproof method of ensuring election integrity. “No one can fake their Etch A Sketch skills, believe me. It’s far harder to manipulate those dials than to forge handwriting. We’re talking about real skill here,” Giuliani said during a recent press conference.
Experts Scratching Their Heads
Forensic handwriting experts, on the other hand, are baffled by Giuliani’s assertion that election workers could even feasibly fake so many handwriting styles. Moreover, they question the logic of replacing paper ballots with Etch A Sketches. “An Etch A Sketch lacks even the most basic elements of security. Anyone can shake it and erase the Vote,” said one bemused expert.
The “Etch A Vote” Campaign
Undeterred by naysayers, Giuliani has initiated what he’s calling the “Etch A Vote” campaign. Aiming to replace all traditional voting methods by the next election, the campaign will host Etch A Sketch workshops aimed at teaching senior citizens and others unfamiliar with the toy how to properly register their vote via meticulous dial-twisting.
Dubious Support from Ohio Art Company
Interestingly, the Ohio Art Company, manufacturers of the Etch A Sketch, issued a cautiously worded statement: “While we are honored that Mr. Giuliani sees artistic and now civic potential in our product, we must clarify that the Etch A Sketch was not designed with electoral integrity in mind. Also, shaking to erase is a feature, not a bug.”
Critics Question the Real Motive
Critics argue that Giuliani’s proposals serve to distract from real issues surrounding election security and may undermine public trust in democratic processes. Nonetheless, the former mayor remains steadfast in his belief that “if you can Etch A Sketch, you can vote.”
The irony of Giuliani’s new mission is not lost on the public: a man who once stood on the global stage as a representative of America’s largest city now aims to reshape the future of American democracy with children’s toys.
