NEED TO KNOW
After the United States carried out Airstrikes on Iranian nuclear facilities this week, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene erupted in a 600-word digital tantrum, expressing outrage that President Trump did not personally consult her before launching an attack. “I spent millions of my own money!” she yelled into her phone’s front camera, reminding everyone that foreign policy decisions should apparently pass through Georgia’s 14th district before proceeding to the Pentagon.
Buyer’s Remorse in Real Time
Greene, who once promoted Trump as the peace president, now finds herself surprised that the man who once threatened to “bomb the shit out of them” actually followed through. “This is not what I fought for,” she screamed, while standing in front of a stack of unopened Trump 2024 merch she bought in bulk last month. Sources close to the congresswoman say she’s considering asking for a campaign refund, citing “military escalation not included in the packaging.”
Blog Posts vs Bombs
“I have my own opinion,” Greene insisted, forgetting that literally no one had accused her of not. She expressed concern that the airstrikes may provoke terrorist retaliation, ruin her children’s ability to afford a home, and lead to mandatory spiritual warfare insurance. “This is what the NEOCONS want,” she added, while still supporting the president who authorized the strikes and named his golf cart “Little Napalm.”
War Is Hard When You’re the Cult’s Critic
While Greene attempted to distance herself from the fallout, MAGA supporters remained firmly behind Trump. “We’re just happy to see fireworks in HD,” one Truth Social user commented under a meme of Trump riding a missile shaped like a bald eagle. Greene now faces the challenge of being anti-war in a movement fueled by tactical cosplay, airport tarmac bravado, and a 98 percent approval rating for explosives. For now, she’s requested that future military decisions go through her office, or at least her group chat.
Quote of the moment
I supported the war-bringer for peace. Now I’m just confused and out of tank tops.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
