NEED TO KNOW
- Trump praised Leavitt’s lips, sparking a brief but intense Fox News calendar pitch
- Leavitt denied any romance, said her lips are “constitutionally protected ammo”
- White House press briefings now rated PG-13 for suggestive praise and hostile metaphors
WASHINGTON — After President Trump described Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt’s lips as “like a machine gun,” the internet immediately wondered whether this was affection, projection, or a classified weapon system.
Leavitt, 27, quickly dismissed rumors of any romance. “These lips are for defending freedom,” she said. “And occasionally unloading verbal rounds at NPR, the WHO, and anyone who calls it the Atlantic Ocean instead of the Gulf of America.”
Sources close to the White House confirmed Trump has not stopped complimenting her since learning what “Gen Z” means. “She’s like Sarah Huckabee but aerodynamic,” he reportedly told aides. “She could probably block an indictment with just a glance.”
Leavitt’s husband, 59-year-old developer Nicholas Riccio, released a statement: “As long as she’s only kissing the Second Amendment, I’m cool with it.”
Meanwhile, Trump has floated awarding her the Nobel Peace Prize for “destroying CNN morale with just a press pass and a stare.”
An upcoming Newsmax segment is expected to rate Trump’s Cabinet based on “facial patriotism” and “tactical cheekbones.”
Quote of the moment
I’m not attracted to her, I’m just obsessed with loyalty and lip velocity
Donald Trump
