NEED TO KNOW
- Elon Musk launched the “America Party” on July 5 after attacking Trump’s $3.4 trillion spending bill.
- The billionaire previously sold Teslas as both green savior and gaslight muscle car, depending on audience.
- Now, Musk has alienated eco-Liberals, MAGA hardliners, and most remaining Cybertruck pre-order holders.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk has officially run out of people to pander to. After years of marketing electric cars to liberals as planet-saving innovations and to conservatives as tanks with Spotify, Musk has now launched his own political party — and promptly lost both groups.
The “America Party” was announced on July 5 in what Musk described as “a declaration of independence from clowns and cliques.” The irony, however, was lost on former fans who now find themselves betrayed by either his politics or his pivot to full-time Twitter warrior.
Eco-Consumers and Exhaust Fans Unite in Disgust
Progressives once hailed Musk as a visionary for making EVs cool, until he started tweeting like a divorced stepdad with too many Dogecoin tattoos. Meanwhile, conservatives had just come around to the Cybertruck as a rolling symbol of masculinity — before Musk insulted Trump, praised universal basic income, and proposed taxing Bitcoin miners.
“He sold me on rugged libertarian horsepower,” said Texas plumber Rick Yates. “Now I find out I accidentally funded a guy who wants to install neural chips and cancel Social Security?”
The America Party: Brought to You by Whiplash
Political analysts say Musk’s new venture has a “target audience of one.” “His voters are either libertarian vegans or gun-loving transhumanists. That’s a tough tent to fill,” said pollster Renée Croft. “At this point, his only base might be second-born twins of Elon who changed their name to spite him.”
As for Teslas, Musk announced they will now only drive straight down the middle of the road — slowly, while asking for attention.
Quote of the moment
This is what happens when your customer retention strategy is ‘everyone but them.’
Brand strategist who now drives a Chevy Bolt
