Chicago, IL – The Democratic National Committee announced today that Chicago will be the host city for the 2024 Democratic National Convention. The decision has left many scratching their heads, as Chicago has a reputation for being a notoriously corrupt and crime-ridden city.
“We’re thrilled to be bringing the convention to the Windy City,” said DNC Chairperson, who declined to give their name. “Chicago has so much to offer, from deep-dish pizza to the world-famous L train. We can’t wait to show off all that this wonderful city has to offer.”
The decision to choose Chicago as the host city has sparked some controversy, as many worry about the safety of convention-goers in a city with one of the highest murder rates in the country. However, the DNC insists that they have taken all necessary precautions to ensure the safety of attendees.
“We’ve hired the best security team money can buy,” said the Chairperson. “And we’ve also asked local gangs to take the week off and not commit any crimes while we’re in town. We’re confident that everything will go smoothly.”
Some Chicago residents are skeptical of the DNC’s promises, however.
“Are they serious? They think they can just ask the gangs to take the week off?” said local resident John Smith. “They clearly don’t know anything about this city.”
Despite the concerns, the DNC is moving ahead with their plans for the convention. In addition to the usual speeches and events, they are also planning a special Chicago-themed night, featuring performances by local celebrities like Kanye West and Chief Keef.
“We want to give our delegates a taste of the real Chicago,” said the Chairperson. “And what better way to do that than with some music from our city’s finest?”
The convention is scheduled to take place in August of 2024, and the DNC says they are already planning a special “Welcome to Chicago” event for attendees at the city’s famous O’Hare airport.
“We’re going to have a little taste of Chicago waiting for everyone when they arrive,” said the Chairperson. “Deep-dish pizza, hot dogs, and a special performance by the Jesse White Tumblers. It’s going to be great!
