Zohran Mamdani wins NYC’s Democratic primary, and the right loses it like he personally moonwalked into Ground Zero.…
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Andrew Cuomo accidentally promised to “rebuild thrust” instead of trust during a campaign speech, reigniting mockery over his past scandals and derailing his rebrand attempt in spectacular fashion.…
Click to Keep ReadingWelcome to the age where your back goes out more than you do. Whether you’re in denial, icing your knee from a “weird sleeping injury,” or genuinely excited about home warranties, this collection celebrates that weird in-between moment where you’re not old old—but you definitely have…
Click to Keep ReadingTrump said “they don’t know what the f**k they’re doing,” and Democrats are livid he didn’t clear it with the House first. A new bill may regulate future outbursts.…
Click to Keep ReadingTrump announced a ceasefire between Israel and Iran on Truth Social, then immediately blamed Biden in case it fails. Neither country confirmed the deal exists.…
Click to Keep ReadingGovernor Mike Braun just made Indiana the first state to toll every interstate. Lawmakers call it “flexible funding.” Drivers call it “a scenic tax trap.”…
Click to Keep ReadingThe Supreme Court approved deporting criminals to countries they’ve never been to, provided they fly Spirit. Legal, efficient, and just uncomfortable enough to count as a sentence.…
Click to Keep ReadingDonald Trump says his second term has been so successful he won’t seek a third. Instead, he’s rebooting The Apprentice to fire people on TV again.…
Click to Keep ReadingAfter Trump’s shooting and airstrikes on Iran, MAGA declared itself the only group legally allowed to question anything, while everyone else got labeled unpatriotic and weird.…
Click to Keep ReadingMarjorie Taylor Greene Shocked to Discover President Can Drop Bombs Without Consulting Her Blog
Marjorie Taylor Greene lashed out after Trump bombed Iran without her permission, demanding peace, accountability, and possibly a return receipt.…
Click to Keep ReadingA brutal heat wave has transformed the Eastern Seaboard into a Florida-like dystopia, complete with price spikes, swamp sweat, and emotional dehydration.…
Click to Keep ReadingA suburban HOA tries to ban a shirtless gnome for being “too provocative,” but the homeowner fights back with sunglasses, sunscreen, and righteous lawn energy.…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson