DENVER, CO – In an unexpected twist at a Sunday performance of the iconic “Beetlejuice” musical, U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert was ceremoniously ushered out of the theater, not for the previously reported disturbances of vaping and recording but, in fact, for committing the grave error…
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – House Speaker Kevin McCarthy made headlines this Tuesday by announcing his endorsement for a formal impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden. The ground-breaking reason? Sources reveal that Biden might have worn the same tie twice within a week. The momentum for the…
The secret to immortality and building wealth? Just keep running for office! WASHINGTON – In a stunning revelation that has experts stumped, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, at the ripe age of 83, has not only announced her intention to run for her congressional seat in…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Republican party has recently proposed to redefine the term “pro-life.” The new definition will encompass anyone who is a “fan of all living things, except plants… and mosquitoes.” Party insiders claim that this rebranding is part of a broader effort to…
San Francisco, CA — As iconic fashion outlets, tech stores, and luxury brands continue their exodus from San Francisco’s Union Square, a new retail champion is rising from the ashes—literally. Introducing “Board ‘N Nail,” the only thriving retailer in San Francisco, dedicated to providing boards…
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, never one to shy away from hard-hitting journalism, has announced an exclusive interview with none other than the elusive Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot, to discuss rumors about former President Barack Obama’s secret wilderness retreat. The interview, scheduled to…
United Airlines announced that its recent nationwide ground stop was caused by someone forgetting to switch off “Airplane Mode” on the central computer system. Thousands of passengers were stranded for hours, but United assured them it was all just a “minor technical difficulty” with a…
A vocal group of activists known as “Inclusivi-TEA” have launched a campaign demanding that the legendary Burning Man festival undergo a major rebrand to “Burning Person” in the spirit of inclusivity and gender neutrality. The group argues that the name “Burning Man” reinforces a patriarchal…
Burning Man, the festival that turns the Black Rock Desert into a temporary city of art, techno-music, and dubious hygiene, came to an end last week. Drone footage showed thousands of vehicles painstakingly exiting the area through thick mud. However, in true Burning Man fashion,…
Former President Donald Trump and his family have officially invaded the fashion industry with a line of t-shirts that has both style critics and political pundits bewildered. Branded as “TrumpShots,” these shirts feature a stylized mugshot of the former President and boldly proclaim “Never Surrender,”…
Washington, D.C.— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) is once again calling out Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) for his alleged “forgetfulness,” describing him as “unfit for office.” This comes after Greene’s own mesmerizing display of memory lapses while on the stand discussing the January…
Giuliani Goes from Election Litigator to Graphology Critic After making headlines for legal crusades questioning the validity of recent elections, Rudy Giuliani is back in the spotlight. This time, he’s not wielding lawsuits but rather wielding claims about Georgia election workers faking their handwriting on…
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson