The latest unemployment figures have taken an unexpected nosedive, leaving economists scratching their heads and politicians high-fiving each other. The secret behind…
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Democrats across the nation are turning their attention to an unexpected crisis: racial disparities in drowning deaths. Armed with the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), they are now calling for radical solutions to address this pressing issue. According to…
Click to Keep ReadingTech mogul and part-time space enthusiast Elon Musk announced the rebranding of Twitter as “Qwitter” to better align with the growing dominance of QAnon conspiracy theories on the platform. The decision came as no surprise to those who have followed Musk’s eclectic and unconventional business…
Click to Keep ReadingDemocrats Push for Progressive Reforms While Republicans Focus on Going Woke Going Broke
Democrats are on the move to reform the tax code, provide universal healthcare, protect voting rights, and boost the economy, while Republicans seem more concerned with trivialities like burning Barbies, shooting Bud Light cans, and debating the color of a mermaid’s skin in a fictional…
Click to Keep ReadingCongressman to Big Screen: Matt Gaetz Lands Role as Butt-Head in Beavis and Butt-Head Remake
Congressman Matt Gaetz has landed the role of Butt-Head in the upcoming live-action remake of the beloved MTV animated series Beavis and Butt-Head. Gaetz, known for his headline-grabbing antics and legal troubles, has been hailed by the film’s producers as the perfect embodiment of the…
Click to Keep ReadingLas Vegas, USA – At a recent UFC event, celebrity chef Guy Fieri and former President Donald Trump found themselves engaged in a friendly and unexpected conversation centered around their shared love for recipes incorporating copious amounts of ketchup. The unlikely duo set aside political…
Click to Keep ReadingBeaverton, Oregon – Nike has announced the launch of its very own platform called “Just Post It.” With this move, the renowned sportswear giant aims to revolutionize the way athletes communicate, self-promote, and engage with fans on the digital frontier. “Just Post It,” a tongue-in-cheek…
Click to Keep ReadingFreedom Caucus Finally Files for Divorce from Marjorie Taylor Greene: “It’s Not You, It’s Us”
The Freedom Caucus, a conservative congressional group known for its unwavering support of controversial figures, has announced its long-anticipated divorce from Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia. Citing irreconcilable differences and an irrepressible need to maintain their reputation, the caucus revealed that the time had…
Click to Keep ReadingTrump Jr. and Hunter Biden’s Unlikely Night Out Together: A Mix of Politics and Partying
Washington D.C. — Don Trump Jr. and Hunter Biden were spotted together last night at an exclusive gay nightclub, throwing political affiliations to the wind and embracing a night of unabashed revelry. Witnesses at the scene reported their jaws dropping as they witnessed the once…
Click to Keep ReadingVermont – A group of disgruntled cows owned by the renowned ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, have filed a lawsuit against the very company they once served. The bovine plaintiffs allege that Ben & Jerry’s has been stealing their milk to create their delectable…
Click to Keep ReadingThe United States Supreme Court has made an unexpected decision that requires white women to provide lessons on Karen-esque behavior to their minority counterparts. The ruling, which aims to bridge the gap in “Karen culture,” has left many scratching their heads while others raise concerns…
Click to Keep ReadingOverstock.com, a prominent player in the e-commerce industry, has decided to bid farewell to its well-established name and rebrand itself as Bed Bath & Beyond. While many consumers and analysts initially scratched their heads at this puzzling decision, industry experts are now predicting a disastrous…
Click to Keep ReadingOur liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson