A Russian immigrant thought he was escaping tyranny, until his Florida HOA told him his garden gnome violated height restrictions.…
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As the U.S. stops making pennies, 114 billion of them prepare for retirement in junk drawers and the dark corners of society.…
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A Chicago man suffers through another ketchup-free Memorial Day, forced to choose between authenticity and flavor. He chooses shame. Again.…
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Texas wants to ban kids from using social media to protect their brains. Guns, heat, and existential dread remain perfectly legal.…
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Trump posted a Memorial Day message so intense it made fireworks seem subtle. God bless the caps lock key.…
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Rain has once again delayed the Indy 500, shocking absolutely no one and reinforcing that weather is undefeated in May.…
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Memorial Day 2025: A day to reflect, remember, and grill meat until your HOA asks if everything’s okay.…
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cientists confirm the Earth is still round. America demands an audit, a drone shot, and someone named Kyle to double-check.…
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America just raced hot dogs around the Indy 500 track. The world looked on in horror. America asked if they wanted ketchup with that.…
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Marjorie Taylor Greene argued with an AI chatbot about her Christianity and lost. The AI didn’t even have to pray about it.…
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Trump accused South Africa of white genocide using a Congo war photo, proving once again that foreign policy is now just a tab in his browser.…
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Kermit the Frog inspires graduates, Trump defunds PBS, and somewhere Big Bird is being audited. Just another Thursday in America.…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson